moriartywasreal

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A propos de Moriartywasreal

I despise writing bios.

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Moriartywasreal's favorite FMLs

By sarahcurtis213 - 13/11/2012 07:36 - United States

Today, I was at the library using a computer to order a package. A man sat down next to me mumbling to himself while staring at me. As I got up to go to the printer, he pointed at me and screamed, "I will burn you alive and enjoy it!" All of my info including my address was still on the computer screen. FML

agreeclassic 27 063

vote type 1 5 337

By Anonymous - 28/07/2012 16:02 - United States - South Bend

Today, I finally met my daughter's boyfriend. He has a face tattoo. FML

agreeclassic 34 429

vote type 1 6 102

Toot toot!

By Anonymous - 29/04/2009 10:12 - United States

Today, trying to make my 6 year-old daughter to laugh, I drew a picture of a butt, a puff of air coming out and the word "Toot". My daughter thought it extremely funny. Later, when she was talking with my extremely judgmental mother-in-law, I heard her say, "Daddy taught me how to draw butts." FML

agreeclassic 23 106

vote type 1 50 283

By wetdreams - 05/02/2012 00:35 - Canada

Today, was the fifth night I've dreamed of brushing my teeth. I wake up about three times a night because as I spit in my dream, I actually spit on my face as I'm sleeping. FML

agreeclassic 28 193

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By preggers - 30/11/2011 14:57 - Canada

Today, my husband asked me if I was really pregnant or if I was just smuggling cheeseburgers. I'm now referred to as "the hamburgler." I'm only 5 months pregnant. FML

agreeclassic 33 607

vote type 1 3 950