Conkle5

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Conkle5's favorite FMLs

Caught

By Boredom - 26/01/2009 21:09 - United States

Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML

agreeclassic 18 849

vote type 1 76 283

By Nightmare - 15/01/2013 14:41

Today, my teenage son taught my five-year-old daughter how to fake her own death. I walked into the kitchen today to find her lying still on the floor, covered in ketchup. She laughed when I began to scream. FML

agreeclassic 46 071

vote type 1 4 748

By Anonymous - 14/01/2013 17:58 - United States - Arlington

Today, while I was having sex, he stopped, looked at me all seriously and said, "Permission to climax, ma'am?" FML

agreeclassic 50 031

vote type 1 10 035

By ladylol - 24/11/2012 13:54 - United Kingdom - Towcester

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he'd rather play the new Assassin's Creed game or have a night of sex with me. He started crying from indecision. FML

agreeclassic 40 206

vote type 1 12 537

What ARE you doing?

By mountains - 19/11/2012 00:47 - United States - Pembroke

Today, I awoke in the midst of the night to find my half-naked dad drunkenly arguing with the microwave. FML

agreeclassic 23 046

vote type 1 1 833