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Solotext's favorite FMLs

By chloe_zjk - 18/02/2015 05:22 - France

Today, I'm an intern working in a company's reception area, which happens to have a coffee dispenser. As I'm the new girl, every client getting coffee wants to buy me one. I'm too polite to say no. It's 10:26 AM, and I'm on cup #17. FML

agreeclassic 463

vote type 1 197

By Worried - 16/04/2011 10:59 - Australia

Today, my wife and I were planning our nursery for our future child. She said that we'd be painting it pink either way. I asked what would happen if we had a boy. She said "Oh, he'll be gay" with a menacing glare. I'm worried. FML

agreeclassic 44 965

vote type 1 7 139

By Anonymous - 17/07/2009 05:11 - United States

Today, I thought it was a good idea to go number two while smoking a "cigarette". My ash tray was over by the sink so I decided to just ash in the toilet. While ashing between my legs, I sneezed and now I have a extremely uncomfortable burn on my man member. Smoking is bad. FML

agreeclassic 9 440

vote type 1 90 854

By Just Me - 26/07/2012 05:04 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I came out to my mom as a lesbian. She told me that it was impossible, because since she isn't one, she therefore couldn't have given birth to one. She still won't believe me. FML

agreeclassic 31 651

vote type 1 4 079

By Anonymous - 18/08/2012 05:15 - United States

Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML

agreeclassic 43 989

vote type 1 2 665