matthewc0

A propos de Matthewc0

Validating my life through the failures of others.

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Matthewc0's favorite FMLs

By theguy24 - 27/01/2009 12:47 - United States

Today, I finally broke my two-year dry spell, but as she was putting on the condom, I came. She laughed from the time she was putting on her clothes to when she walked out the door. I don't think she's going to call back. FML

agreeclassic 45 645

vote type 1 9 028

Who the **** are you?

By silly_billy - 11/06/2009 05:08 - United States

Today, I was eating lunch with my wife. We were having a nice time when a man came up to me. He said, "Hey! Bill how are you?" I wasn't really sure, so being polite I said, "I'm sorry, I can't remember your name." He frowned and walked away. It was my company's Chairman of the Board. FML

agreeclassic 20 379

vote type 1 54 749

By deucelututi - 31/05/2009 12:03 - United States

Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are supposed to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here. FML." FML

agreeclassic 26 196

vote type 1 81 220

By Brook363 - 27/05/2009 15:39 - United States

Today, I witnessed the homeless man that visits my neighborhood placing bags containing his own poop in my trash cans. I later received a notice stating that the garbage company will not provide my residence with garbage service until I “refrain from placing bags of my own feces in the trash.” FML

agreeclassic 54 810

vote type 1 3 112

By PetitPrincePerdu - 08/05/2009 00:42 - United States

Today, I found my mother wandering the halls of my fraternity unescorted and asked why she was here, she told me she was concerned when I didn't pick up my phone for two days. She then informed me that she had also moved to the same city I live in. My mother moved over 600 miles to stalk me. FML

agreeclassic 61 927

vote type 1 5 073