chancjd

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Chancjd's favorite FMLs

Who said life was better before ?

By none - 17/01/2009 23:35 - United States

Today, was just like almost every for the past few months; I slept till 1 p.m., smoked cigarettes, jerked off, went to the store to get coffee, smoked more cigarettes, and sat in my room alone until 4 a.m., jerking off and smoking cigarettes. FML

agreeclassic 13 189

vote type 1 46 431

By lala8940 - 28/06/2012 05:20 - United States

Today, my dog was licking the dishes in the dishwasher when his collar got stuck on it. Then he got scared of the dishwasher rack following him and ran away really fast. Now I have no dishes. FML

agreeclassic 24 728

vote type 1 6 779

lala8940 app_comment_confession_title

lala8940 0

Thursday 28 June 2012 17:41

To clear everything up: - they were dirty dishes going into the wash so it didn't really matter - I still have some dishes, but half of them are gone

By FML - 15/05/2012 19:02 - Finland

Today, I was told the Mandarin greeting that my new Chinese friends at school taught me was not really a greeting at all. I've been proclaiming "I'm a dumb bitch" every time I've greeted them, almost every day for the past month. FML

agreeclassic 27 999

vote type 1 8 609

By Jenn P - 22/04/2012 03:15 - United States - Wichita Falls

Today, my husband drew a penis on every one of my cigarettes. It's a new pack. FML

agreeclassic 9 973

vote type 1 70 655

Nice way to put it

By -_- - 18/02/2012 00:13 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to an extended family reunion. I started chatting to my great grandpa, and he asked me what I do for a living. Before I could tell him I breed animals, my visibly drunk dad interrupted and slurred, "Oh, she jacks things off. Horses, pigs, just about anything, really." FML

agreeclassic 32 009

vote type 1 4 100