GRITS1987

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Grits1987's favorite FMLs

By hendrixisgod86 - 15/05/2015 18:48 - United States - Crestview

Today, some genius shot through a red light, hitting my car and nearly killing me. When I went to ask if he was okay, the first words out of his mouth were, "I hope you have insurance". FML

agreeclassic 33 154

vote type 1 2 146

Happy Birthday

By shmoooopie - 29/05/2015 03:39 - United States - Medina

Today, for my birthday, my boyfriend made me a coupon book. I thought it was sweet until I noticed they were all conditional. For example; "Give your boyfriend a blowjob and he'll give you a 10 minute back massage!". They're all like that and he's mad because I refuse to use them. FML

agreeclassic 34 683

vote type 1 3 903

By MarieAmber18 - 28/05/2015 18:05 - United States - Pasadena

Today, I found out that the reason why my boyfriend has been denying me sex isn't because he is scared of someone walking in on us. It's because his blow-up doll pleasures him more than I do. FML

agreeclassic 34 983

vote type 1 6 083

By svunimportant - 28/05/2015 15:40 - United States - Morehead

Today, my daughter cried for ages after finding out that Nick Amaro was written out of Law and Order: SVU. She barely reacted when I told her that her mom and I are getting a divorce. FML

agreeclassic 27 304

vote type 1 3 520

High speed car chase

By drivingmecrazy - this FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Sacramento

Today, I called 911 to report a drunk driver. The operator yelled at me for following the guy and told me to get off the phone because I shouldn't be driving with a phone to my ear. FML

agreeclassic 29 673

vote type 1 7 512