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Okay, to answer a few questions: yes, the flavors were the same. Yes, my parents knew I'd be baking two cakes. The reason they ate from each is that my grandma put the "family" cake in the fridge without telling anyone, so they assumed the remaining cake was for them (grandma is a little forgetful). No, I can't combine them, I used "half" but it's half for one and a bit more than 1/3 from the other. No, not putting laxatives, I love baking and they bought me more ingredients to use.

By Annakins - 06/06/2010 18:31 - United States

Today, I am 9 months pregnant. I had a dream where I successfully pushed and gave birth to my son. Meanwhile, in the real world, I successfully pushed and gave birth to a large dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 271

You deserved it 7 096

Sucks to suck

By Anonymous - 14/08/2009 04:35 - Australia

Today, I was on the bus, when an elderly woman stepped in. She looked too weak to stand. She looked at me with sad puppy eyes, expecting me to give up my seat for her. I felt sorry and got up. As soon as she sat down, she said, "Ha! Sucker!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 266

You deserved it 7 462

By Chatons - 05/12/2013 06:52 - Switzerland

Today, my kittens hunted and killed their first prey. My hamster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 266

You deserved it 7 933

By Anonymous - 04/01/2014 21:31 - Ireland

Today, I've had my tenth "Christmas" dinner since Christmas last took place. My mum has gone nuts and keeps playing Christmas music, making these dinners, and refusing to let me take down the Christmas decorations. My dad is too whipped to save us from this hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 265

You deserved it 4 703

By adalia - 19/07/2009 17:11 - United Kingdom

Today, I was telling my dad about plans to go out late for a few drinks next week. My dad started his usual "YOU COULD GET RAPED!" lecture, before my brother sprang to my defence, "It's not like she's what they're after, is she?" Apparently, rapists are out of my league. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 258

You deserved it 4 958

Happy anniversary, Honey!

By Anonymous - 05/07/2009 04:57 - United States

Today, it was my boyfriend and mine's six-month anniversary. I've really fallen in love with him, and I know he loves me the same, so I got him a really nice gift, a watch he's had his eye on for as long as I've known him. It was expensive. What did he get me? A condom. Three actually. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 256

You deserved it 9 922

Bored stiff

By adsfkerfmpo - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I made a date to try to save our relationship. I sat in his room for hours while he watched YouTube videos of World of Warcraft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 252

You deserved it 8 072

By good job bf - 11/01/2013 04:06 - United States - Southampton

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me at my grandma's funeral. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 248

You deserved it 2 891

By Anonymous - 18/06/2011 15:43 - United States

Today, I went to the movies with my friend and two pretty girls. During the movie, he made out with both of them, while I sat there awkwardly and watched the movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 246

You deserved it 5 916

By Greg - 28/10/2013 21:53 - United States - Livonia

Today, I was leaving the grocery store when an old woman started yelling at me for not holding the door open for her. She accused me of being "everything wrong with the younger generation". It was an automatic door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 242

You deserved it 3 286

By J.D. - 01/12/2013 12:43 - Australia - Exeter

Today, I found on Facebook that my best friend of 10 years is getting married next week. I'm guessing my invite got lost in the mail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 239

You deserved it 3 551

By peaaaak - 03/06/2011 10:17 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad came round to the house. Looking rather pleased with himself he pulled out his phone, grinned, and chucked it over to me. I glanced at the screen to see a naked woman. He smiled and said "I tapped that last night". FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 239

You deserved it 5 056

By flavored - 18/11/2013 15:26 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 239

You deserved it 19 479

Furious

By Anonymous - 27/05/2013 00:40 - United Kingdom - Maybole

Today, a man asked about fishing in the river that flows beside where I work. I said you could, but anything you caught under 5 inches has to be thrown back. His wife then said, "Wish I knew that before I married him." I started to laugh. The man almost cried and complained to my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 238

You deserved it 8 286

By Nikkalicious16 - 18/02/2009 15:26 - United States

Today, my mother told me that my father once told her that he was glad she wasn't a red head. He wouldn't have married her if she was because he hates red heads. I am his red-headed daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 237

You deserved it 3 052

Nikkalicious16 tells us more.

Nikkalicious16 0

Wednesday 18 February 2009 18:58

first of all, my dad is my dad... second, i know my red hair is in my genes...kinda goes w.o saying..genious. third, red hair runs on my mothers side, she just doesnt have red hair. fourth, us red heads ARE the shit.