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The all-time greatest FMLs

By whale14 - 06/06/2019 16:00

Today, I was in the newspaper for my soccer accomplishments. It was supposed to be my day in the spotlight. I went home to find out that my little sister had sprained her ankle in P.E. Not only did nobody in my family read the article in the paper, I'm now doing all of my sister's chores. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 913

You deserved it 239

By nofooddrinkorsex - 25/08/2019 22:05 - United States

Today, my wife and I had our brand new king-size mattress set delivered. After the delivery men left, she informed me that I was no longer allowed to eat or drink in bed. Oh yeah, and we're not having sex on it either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 912

You deserved it 273

Friend's best friend

By some friend - 04/03/2021 15:30 - United States

Today, my "best friend" of over 15 years has decided to cut me out of her life. She asked me to loan her $7k to get a surgery for her 14 year-old dog. When I told her it would be far crueler to prolong the poor thing’s life, she called me a heartless bitch and refuses to ever speak to me again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 912

You deserved it 421

Triage

By Anonymous - 16/12/2020 05:02 - Germany - Emden

Today, I realised that Gmail has been sending lots of important messages directly into the spam folder, where I never saw them. All were from people who I had either contacted myself, or had regular contact with in the past. One address even had a filter on it, specifying, "Never send it to spam." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 912

You deserved it 303

Spay and neuter, people!

By Anonymous - 21/10/2019 18:00

Today, I took in an old friend’s fat cat for a month until she finds a place to live. Turns out the cat isn’t fat, just pregnant. I found out when I found two of her dead kittens in my living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 912

You deserved it 196

Kids are assholes

By ohnomommy - 03/03/2020 06:01

Today, I was in line at a gas station with my 3-year-old daughter. A "little person" was in line in front of us, buying a pack of cigarettes. My daughter yelled, "No little boy! Only grown ups can smoke." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 912

You deserved it 224

By Anonymous - 10/05/2019 16:00

Today, the guy I've been talking to for two months told me he hooked up with a girl last night, before blocking me on everything. I also was with him last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 912

You deserved it 204

By Jojo - 08/05/2019 16:00

Today, after months of planning, my boyfriend told me he's changed his mind and doesn’t want to move with me to where I got a job. Why? He doesn’t want to live that far away from his mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 911

You deserved it 284

Social distancing

By Anonymous - 22/08/2020 05:01

Today, we celebrated our daughter's sixth birthday. Out of the 30 invited, 7 showed up. The last one to cancel this morning told us she was ill. My daughter was in tears as this meant the last remaining playmate couldn't come. My wife later saw her tagged on Facebook at another party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 911

You deserved it 404

Gross, dude

By smells like ass - 02/08/2020 23:03

Today, my boyfriend has only showered about three times since we’ve been on lockdown. Our whole place smells like a sewer main burst in a pro-sports locker room filled with sweaty nut sacks and dead feet. His excuse? "It’s not like we have anywhere to go babe." I can’t even eat around him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 911

You deserved it 398

Parked out

By penne_pasta580802 - 23/01/2020 14:00

Today, I drove my car to work as I had some errands to do after, even though I only live a few blocks away. After driving round to find a car park for ages, the closest car park available was outside my house. I ended up walking to work instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 911

You deserved it 598

Please clap

By Anonymous - 28/12/2021 11:01

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been cheating on me. How did I find out? I'm sitting in a hospital room being given antibiotics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 910

You deserved it 136

By ApparentWeirdo - 06/06/2017 14:00

Today, my boyfriend called me weird because I keep gloves in the glove box in my car. He's never seen that before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 910

You deserved it 382

Dogs rule

By Anonymous - 10/05/2019 04:00

Today, my wife kicked me out of my own bed to go and sleep on the sofa because the dog was whining, and would only stop if she was allowed to sleep on my side of the bed. My wife would rather sleep with the dog than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 910

You deserved it 343

By Anonymous - 18/08/2019 16:00 - United Kingdom - Thornbury

Today, the only "Happy birthday!" I got was from the cake I bought for myself. FML