By ButILiveHere - 10/10/2018 03:00 - Netherlands - Voerendaal
The Top
More whine?
By Sonofaquiche - 30/06/2017 22:00 - Germany - Gochsheim
Sonofaquiche tells us more.
By ReallyUniverse?? - 18/03/2018 19:00
By Host grandfather - 21/09/2018 06:00 - United States - Tampa
Keep it down
By Anonymous - 08/11/2018 22:00
What ARE you doing?
By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff
Family Matters
By whyme102008 - 13/07/2011 06:32 - United States
Rage Quit
By Redsnation - 08/08/2017 05:02
Law and order
By Anonymous - 01/01/2016 07:03 - United States - Reno
By Annie - 24/08/2015 08:46 - United Kingdom - London
Face, meet palm.
By Anonymous - 28/09/2017 18:27
EarthsMightiestHeroes tells us more.
Hi guys! OP here, I had an account before but got locked out of it, and now I just created a new one. Basically, it was him and half the class versus the other half, and since his half was full of loud athletic kids, he "won" the argument (meaning my Comp teacher was sick of our shit). He busted out the globe to show us flight paths, which was his main (and the more I think about it... his only) argument for Flat Earth. The debate has died down, thank God, but I fear the day someone manages to set him off again and he starts screaming about "the government lying to us about the shape of the planet!!".
By Anonymous - 11/06/2016 05:15 - United States - Bronx
By InvAzn - 14/12/2017 06:00
By mother of piggies - 04/04/2018 15:00
By Anonymous - 19/04/2018 01:30
By Anonymous - 31/08/2019 06:03 - United States - New York
By Anonymous - 20/07/2016 03:01 - United Kingdom
By Wtf - 13/02/2018 03:56 - Australia - Peakhurst
By nocongratsneeded - 04/11/2015 03:23 - United States - Bloomfield Hills
nocongratsneeded tells us more.
Hi all, this is the OP. Obviously, he's my ex, even though he doesn't seem to realize it yet to judge by the texts and phone calls. To give a little more background, we'd been together for almost three years. We were talking about moving in together (but not getting married, I've seen too many of my friends get divorced already). To really prove that the universe hates me, he and I were still using condoms, because I am that freaked out about pregnancy and I can't take hormonal BC. This is the first time ever I've had one break. I'm sure I'm going to catch a lot of flak for this, but I have scheduled an abortion for the end of this week. It's not a human or a potential one to me, it's just a burden and reminder that former relationship was based on a big fat lie. Plus, being pregnant makes me even more anxious than the thought of being pregnant ever did, and I was full-on tokophobic before. Every time I think about having my body being overtaken by some disgusting little alien creature, my heart starts pounding and I get dizzy. I don't know how many times I've thrown up on cue just thinking about it, and it's not from morning sickness. I also really, really, really dislike babies, contrary to my ex's assumptions. I had one shoved at me when I was a teenager, and I nearly dropped it because everything about it terrified me. I don't think it's a good idea to just hope that those maternal hormones kick in and make me suddenly like kids when I haven't since as long as I can remember. So...no congratulations needed, and no pro-life or pro-adoption rants, either. If you'd find it in your heart to suck it up and make the best of this situation, good for you. The best situation for me is to put everything about this horrible experience behind me as soon as possible.
By qourt - 14/02/2019 15:34 - United States
Going at it
By GiveADogABone - 15/10/2015 22:47 - United States
Sexy time
By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff
By Nyusziful - 26/06/2016 20:42 - Hungary - Nagykanizsa
Nyusziful tells us more.
It was actually a small family event with only 20 guests, so he really didn't have to look after a huge crowd. And I was the only one in a big white dress :)
By no handouts! - 21/04/2018 21:00 - Philippines - San Pedro
Fetishes come in all sizes
By unboned - 11/05/2016 17:30 - United States - Katy
By LifeSucks - 17/11/2018 05:00
Trevor
By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United States - Oklahoma City
By Mortified - 24/02/2017 20:00 - United States
Not her fault nor mine
By Shut up loser! - 02/12/2019 03:00
By Anonymous - 09/05/2017 04:00
Keywords
Hey guy and girls, OP here. As someone mentioned drinking age is different in Germany. Roughly speaking: Beer and Wine at the age of 16, the hard stuff at 18. So don't worry about me being an underage drinker ;) they probably thought so since i had someone over before, when they were gone, but always told them. They're cool with it though. Also i definitely do not have an alcohol problem. Actually i rarely drink at all. These were just two nights in a row on which i enjoyed sitting outside, looking at the sunset, listening to music and drinking a glass or two of wine. So i didn't even get drunk. Concerning the drink from the bottle tip: rest assured it will be taken into consideration for the next time :D