Spicy

Grossed out

By anne - 07/01/2016 12:00 - Germany

Spicy

Today, I recently burned both my hands at work so I had to ask my husband for help changing my tampon, but he refused saying it would make him feel sick. This from the man who routinely sticks his tongue in my asshole when we have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 254

You deserved it 4 824

By Anonymous - 04/01/2016 06:59 - United States - Atwater

Spicy

Today, my husband and I were getting frisky. All was going well until I decided to go down on him, causing him to freak out, thinking I was going for his butt, ending the night with a black eye from being knee'd in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 636

You deserved it 2 710

Moment of truth

By loko0909 - 04/01/2016 04:57 - United States - Cincinnati

Spicy

Today, my ex-boyfriend admitted the reason he broke up with me was because he cheated and felt awful about it. The girl is now pregnant, but he swears it isn't his. Guess we'll find out in a few months if my daughter has a sibling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 910

You deserved it 2 531

By ywouldudomelikethat - 03/01/2016 20:02 - United States - Renton

Spicy

Today, I found out my ex started a Tumblr where she posts one photo a day. Each photo being a pic I texted her over the course of our relationship. My office, the bars I like to go to, favorite restaurants, my mom's place, my place, my penis, etc. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 672

You deserved it 4 611

Caught in 4K

By Oops - 03/01/2016 19:09 - United States - San Francisco

Spicy

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. I wanted to tease him, so I got his attention and made my orgasm face when I thought no one was looking. His thirteen year-old cousin saw and now bursts out laughing whenever he sees me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 300

You deserved it 19 619

Sex work is work

By Anonymous - 02/01/2016 22:31 - United States

Spicy

Today, I got a call from my dad asking if I was a porno actress. I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 274

You deserved it 29 602

By Anonymous - 31/12/2015 22:33 - United States - Washington Crossing

Spicy

Today, I was standing in line at the checkout, and my children were arguing with each other. The guy in front of me sighed loudly and told me over his shoulder: "There're these things called condoms, you know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 826

You deserved it 7 487

By Anonymous - 30/12/2015 15:21 - Canada - Aurora

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 199

You deserved it 5 592

By wardsl195 - 30/12/2015 05:55 - United States - Seaford

Spicy

Today, a guy came to install a modem in my apartment. He needed to get to the jack behind my TV stand, so I helped him move it. Once the stand was moved, I saw a used condom that was hidden underneath. My cat must have pulled it out of my garbage weeks ago. There's no way the guy didn't see it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 501

You deserved it 3 846

By CogadhTallon - 30/12/2015 02:11 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found the engagement ring I'd bought and been missing for a week. On my girlfriend's hand. While my childhood friend was inside her. They apparently like pretending she's married while doing this. They made this self-discovery a week ago. Good for them. I don't want the ring back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 963

You deserved it 1 764

CogadhTallon tells us more.

CogadhTallon 16

Thursday 31 December 2015 5:50

Thanks for your comments, this place is much better than a shrink for healing a bit. I can appreciate the sentiment that I should've taken the ring back, but once purchased, rings are almost worthless (thanks, De Beers). I honestly wanted nothing to do with them. I've burned the sheets (not kidding) and I've gone numb. Their pretty much dead to me, and needless to say I'm out of the dating circuit for a while. Keep the comments coming though, this place rocks, and reminds me that not everyone are walking asshats. :)

Chapter and verse

By Anonymous - 29/12/2015 14:15

Spicy

Today, I found out my wife has been taking "Love thy neighbour" very literally with the bloke next door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 558

You deserved it 1 546

Parenting is exhausting

By ThreeWeeksWithoutSex - 28/12/2015 05:43 - United States - San Francisco

Spicy

Today, our daughter fell asleep early, so my husband and I decided to get frisky. He passed out mid-blow job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 379

You deserved it 2 914

Hottttt

By whatthefuck - 27/12/2015 23:22 - United States - Providence

Spicy

Today, I had a dream where I was having the best sex of my life. With Donald Trump. My boyfriend hasn't stopped laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 651

You deserved it 5 735

Signposting

By Anonymous - 26/12/2015 05:40 - United States - Latonia

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my 13-year-old sister cutting her pubic hair with scissors. After a long talk about what on earth she was doing, she confessed to doing it so her boyfriend could find her clitoris. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 686

You deserved it 2 502

By Anonymous - 23/12/2015 03:19 - United States - Roanoke

Spicy

Today, I walked in on the 13 year-old boy I babysit masturbating while sniffing my jacket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 395

You deserved it 2 542

By Serenadipity - 22/12/2015 03:37 - United States

Spicy

Today, my 15 year-old brother told us his girlfriend is pregnant. He was taught in his abstinence-only sex ed that condoms don't prevent pregnancy. My parents are blaming her pregnancy on me, for not telling him the truth about sex, because parents giving their kids the sex talk is "too awkward." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 675

You deserved it 1 906

Serenadipity tells us more.

Serenadipity 11

Wednesday 23 December 2015 1:02

31- If I had any inkling of what was going on, I would have tried to do something about it. I didn't even know he had a girlfriend, let alone that he was having sex.

Just great

By Sadginger - 21/12/2015 23:45 - United Kingdom - Redhill

Spicy

Today, the man I have been in a long-distance relationship with for two years told me he has been cheating on me for six months, and that he's leaving me for her. I'm due to fly out to see him next week on a non-refundable ticket. He insists that, "We can still hang out, just not have sex." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 378

You deserved it 2 262

By f4444 - 21/12/2015 05:38 - United States - Highland Park

Spicy

Today, the guy I thought I was exclusive with admitted that the only reason he comes over is because no one else will sleep with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 180

You deserved it 2 616

By forever damaged - 21/12/2015 04:24 - United States - Wallkill

Spicy

Today, while I was working at a gas station, a man came up to the register with his zipper undone and his penis hanging out in full view. I had to awkwardly hand him his change while trying not to look or make eye contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 726

You deserved it 1 656

By sharee - 19/12/2015 20:51 - United States - Providence

Spicy

Today, my father-in-law asked me if I have breast implants in front of the whole family for the third time this month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 333

You deserved it 2 132

By for the whored - 18/12/2015 20:46 - United States - Corpus Christi

Spicy

Today, I was listening to music on my phone and reading posts on here. I laughed hysterically at one, then noticed my parents shooting me outraged looks. Turned out I laughed while a news reporter was talking about a brutal rape that just happened in our city. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 166

You deserved it 3 245

By brokebackanus - 18/12/2015 14:15 - United States - Detroit

Spicy

Today, while jailbreaking my dad's phone, I found out the hard way that it's jam-packed full of my mom's nudes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 628

You deserved it 7 883

By NotSoComfortable - 17/12/2015 09:10 - Italy - Pontecchio Polesine

Spicy

Today, I turned 18. My dad congratulated me and gifted me his collection of old porn magazines. Not bad, dad, but perhaps not during family dinner next time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 858

You deserved it 2 433

By MystoganFT - 17/12/2015 02:55 - United States - Emmaus

Spicy

Today, some guy I don't know walked up to me and told me that he's determined to sleep with my girlfriend, then walked away while giving me the finger. I've never seen him before in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 241

You deserved it 1 838

By Moth_Balled - 15/12/2015 04:50 - Australia

Spicy

Today, my wife knelt down in front me to give me a blowjob. As she took my underwear off a moth flew out of them. I've got no idea how it got there but I was cock-blocked by a moth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 563

You deserved it 6 427

By Anonymous - 12/12/2015 02:38

Spicy

Today, my ex texted me after more than a year of no communication. He wanted to know if I was interested in having a threesome with him and his current fiancée. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 327

You deserved it 2 697

Dirty mind

By Anonymous - 11/12/2015 20:24 - United States - Porter

Spicy

Today, I'm so sexually deprived that I got a raging hard-on from seeing and hearing my coworker yawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 638

You deserved it 4 712

By Hormones apparently - 08/12/2015 02:32 - United States - Westerville

Spicy

Today, I was so inexplicably horny that I had to shuffle awkwardly and use my bag to hide the wetness of my pants as I left work for the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 036

You deserved it 3 568

By Anonymous - 08/12/2015 00:40 - United States - Portland

Spicy

Today, I came home to my mentally unhinged roommate jacking off to a frozen TV frame of Peggy Hill from King of the Hill. When he saw me, he threw an ash tray at me and told me to get out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 884

You deserved it 2 208

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

The Top

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head on the living room couch. Apparently his two cats didn't approve, and they started attacking my face. Luckily for him, since my boyfriend was holding my head down, his privates didn't get a scratch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 785

You deserved it 5 598

Today, my cat has decided she can't eat unless I'm right there with her, so when she gets hungry she finds me and howls until I follow her to her food dish. She likes to eat pretty frequently, and I'm already getting a headache. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 250

You deserved it 3 926

Today, I was arguing with a friend over whether or not I'm fat. She kept telling me that I was. Angry, I sat down on the chair beside her. It broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 206

You deserved it 23 411

Today, my daughter has spent the last few hours moaning that the boy she’s known since they were 4 years-old got a girlfriend instead of asking her out. She’s known him for almost 20 years. If she liked him all that time, she should have asked him out herself instead of moaning at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 98

Today, after a long shift at work, I got home feeling sick and nauseous. I went to remove the tampon I'd had in all day and go to bed, but I literally uncorked myself. There was blood everywhere... on the floor, all over my legs, even on the walls. Everywhere I look, I find more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 280

You deserved it 904

Today, I got dumped by my boyfriend over text. We wore each others' hats, so I gave his back and asked for mine. He “accidentally” burned it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 752

You deserved it 463