Confession

I did not ground the boy. I simply told him his entire life belongs to me now until he's 18!

Akai, the only people who say that are people who don't have kids. My 2 children are the most precious things in my world, and I've smiled more since my daughter was born than in all my previous years combined. I truly feel sorry for people who think like you.

i'm a teenager. a"child" in my fathers eyes. and it's easily 28 degrees Celsius outside. and he managed to make me wear jeans and a jumper, saying it would be cold. i didn't know we were going there. He thought it would be ok for me to walked around in a giant meat freezer.

oh hey, that was my FML. I made an account just so i could say this to you... I wasn't faking being ill to go xmas shopping ta. I got my shopping out the way back in Nov! (no sick day!) I've got the flu bad, worse day to get ill!. I'm going into work tomorrow though despite how horrible I feel so I can speak to my boss about it!. Sucks to be me right now!

Actually if I hadn't left the house I would have been hit by glass and a trapoline that was in my front room also it wasnt my trampoline

Ella and Fitzgerald? Maria and Sharapova? Harry and Potter? Oh, the endless possibilities!

I wasn't actually "tearing" them down, I was gently pulling them off the wall to put them inside the classes instead. It was awkward nonetheless, hope this clears things up.

Think Mario moustache + typical Saskatchewanian redneck man with a 80's trucker hat and you gots it.:)

That was painfully bad...

I did report, but all they told me was that theyll look for it. I didnt have to pay the full fine but still paid $120

It sucks, but it was an accident, I didn't slam on brakes or anything but it was at the bottom of a little hill, and the van she was driving was much heavier and harder to stop than the mustang she is used to that will stop on a dime.

In response to why didn't you buy/check/fix it yourself? Answer: I was saving for college, and know nothing about engines. I remembered that it had been broken before, and assumed she didn't have the money to have it fixed- as we were broke most of the time and could barely afford basic necessities.

I just now realized that this was posted, and, yes, I do realize that it was more than two months ago. He was actually my friend's old roommate, and she introduced us around a year ago. We didn't really interact that much but I thought that he was nice, so when he asked me out, I decided that I'd at least give him a chance. For the record, it wasn't some elaborate ultra-expensive fancy restaurant, but the meal certainly wasn't cheap. I've been in the habit of offering to pay for my meals for a while now, and I certainly wasn't expecting that kind of reaction for him. And no, I don't think that the guy paying for the date is sexist. I don't see why the girl can't pay sometimes, though, and I was just trying to be nice. If he'd wanted to pay, he could have told me instead of freaking out like that. He never called me back after that, but even if he did, I wouldn't have gone on another date with him. I enjoyed reading your comments! Most of you guys are really funny.

yea it was purple haze

Guys, my dress wasn't elaborately big. It just has many layers. And yeah I've already laughed about it. Haha.

My dad is very sensitive about his cooking. If I'd refused he would have made my life harder for the next few days. I said I liked someone's steak a little better than his, and it was a year before he cooked another steak. We generally try not to hurt his feelings.

I'm the OP. That's what I did and it worked. Haha I'm still finding a few stragglers though.

It was a deflection. It's not like I was stupid enough to purposely shoot on my own net.

I am a woman and it was really awkward watching it with my dad.

this is the original poster. yeah...i was having an off day. in my defense, normally there's a small little power button on the top of the projector and that's all i've ever needed to use. someone must have messed with it though, because evidently there's a bigger power button on the side, and that's the one i missed. i felt like an idiot :( and i'm a graduate school TA...

Patient needs routine blood investigations; medical student needs more experience. That's the gist of it.

This is my FML. YES, she is extremely blonde and believe it or not, a straight A student. I have never noticed she said it that way before until she had it written down. I've never caught it because we usually say "Book Bag". Her older brother finally convinced her through mockery and laughter.

In Canada you need a gun licence to own firearms. To actually carry one you need to qualify annually with your company and they apply for your ATC (authorization to carry) I requalified in August and reminded my manager in September. He forgot to apply for my ATC. Nothing I could do to prevent this.

I really can't buy my own detergent, I can't drive yet. I would walk to the store and buy it there, but all of the roads have no sidewalks and the cars don't stop. I do my own laundry, but have to use the soap, and when it gets on my hands it's like instant rash.

It was only like two seconds later

Hello, OP here. Thanks to everyone who commented, even those who were less than courteous, but especially to those who weren't. What happened is that I, living at home while job hunting after graduating from college (with an engineering degree--I know, I had NO EXCUSE for this screw up! But I could tell#30 and #95 more than you care to know about motor oil and gasoline ) went to do a two-person job alone and left empty-handed. I never did mention it to my Dad. He'd never let me hear the end of it :-D Ironically, his Suburban could have towed my car, had he sprung for the towing package when he bought it, but alas, no. I didn't car-leapfrog because it was along the side of the highway and you're not supposed to run along there, and it was just more expedient to wait and get my Dad. I suppose I could have asked a friend to drive out and help me, but to anyone who suggests that, YDI too. #91, that sounds great, but I don't know of anyone in the area that offers that kind of service. #107, fifteen minutes driving is hardly the same as fifteen walking. I'll check back here some time soonish, see what other gems of wit, consolation, and mockery you folks leave me. Cheers, everyone!

I'm a girl and yes my name is Allie. I tried to push him off of me but army dudes are tough. He was trained to fight and he still got his sister beat up. Haha. It's ok, I'll get even.

I saw a man wearing a bike helmet, flailing his arms and following the little girls around. I kept jogging and saw a woman sitting on a park bench texting. She was completely out of site of the girls. I kindly asked her if she was their mother. When she replied 'yes', I told her that I saw a man talking to her daughters and that he looked like a weirdo...that's when she told me that the 'weirdo' was her disabled brother. I apologized to her and took off. I'm not a judgmental person; I was acting on my instincts as a woman to protect these young girls. Believe me, I'm mortified!!!

First off, this is my FML. Second, I was on a road that just so happened to not have a posted speed limit. So I just assumed the speed limit to be 45, unfortunatly according to the law here on a unposted road the limit is 35. No I didn't pass.

Just so you all know, I am not afraid of my pet snake. The FML was a mixture of a) the snake had been in an obvious hiding place, a dark enclosed space, all along. And b) because anything that falls on your bloody head outside is going to give you a fright! He is healthy and happy, he didn't die, and has not escaped since! :) And as for all the St.Patrick comments.... 'driving the snakes out of Ireland' was a metaphor for the Catholics driving all of the Pagans out of Ireland. Of course there are real snakes here.... actually pagans too. Well there ya go! lol :) x