Weird and Health: Weird flex, but OK

Weird flex, but OK

By Anon - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I actually took pleasure in sniffing my armpits after two days of not showering. FML

agreeclassic 9 356

vote type 1 42 219

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

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Satisfaction

By thacupcakeassassin - this FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Shippensburg

Today, I woke up from the most satisfying dream I've ever experienced. Sex related? Nah. I just needed two hands to pull a massive booger from my left nostril. FML

agreeclassic 12 078

vote type 1 1 758

The smell test

By sosadstudent - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Netherlands

Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML

agreeclassic 35 115

vote type 1 4 468

Deez nuts

By needtoscratch - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Duluth

Today, my dormant eczema decided to come back with a vengeance - on my scrotum. I work in an open office and can't scratch unless I repeatedly run into the restroom. FML

agreeclassic 24 394

vote type 1 1 846

Stinky pits

By shakinmahbuttbutt - this FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, it's been two weeks since my parents went crazy with their attempts to save on the water bill. Every time I want to take a shower, I have to ask them first. Let's just say I've had to resort to taking sponge baths in public bathrooms to keep my B.O. under control. FML

agreeclassic 52 878

vote type 1 4 573

Caturday surprise!

By keeperstride - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with an infection, swollen nuts, and a hole in my butt for which I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML

agreeclassic 17 828

vote type 1 72 211

Naughty girl

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I took the dog for a 45 minute walk/jog. She sniffed everything on the ground like she always does. She marked her territory twice, then we finally got home. As soon as I took her off the leash inside, she ran to the kitchen and took a dump right on the kitchen mat. FML

agreeclassic 30 073

vote type 1 3 816

Glade

By stinkystinky - this FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, after cleaning the whole house, I still couldn't get rid of the foul smell. Later, my roommate revealed his new place to "stash and dry" his socks: The ventilation ducts. FML

agreeclassic 13 954

vote type 1 968

Rash decision

By FilthyIke - 21/08/2009 20:17 - Canada

Today, I went to the doctor to inquire about the rash I've been getting in my underarms, behind my knees and sometimes on my face. Turns out I'm allergic to sweat. I'm a varsity rugby coach, gym teacher, and I just shelled out a stack of cash to get a sauna and steam room installed in my house. FML

agreeclassic 47 778

vote type 1 4 388

The struggle

By lizi - this FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Saint Andrews

Today, I accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to take my bra off. FML

agreeclassic 4 066

vote type 1 846

New fragrance just dropped

By lavenderpiss - this FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Australia - North Adelaide

Today, I used my vaporiser to make my house smell like lavender while I went to work. My brother thought it would be funny to pee inside it. My whole house now smells like pissy lavender. FML

agreeclassic 43 502

vote type 1 4 036

pancakerocks 1

Thursday 12 January 2012 18:55

intresting. i take joy in smelling myself after i shower

krustacea 1

Thursday 12 January 2012 18:53

I've done that.

Comments

summinay 0

Thursday 12 January 2012 20:12

Wtf

thrillhammer88 3

Thursday 12 January 2012 20:16

Everyone likes their own brand, just like farts!

chellyX92 8

Thursday 12 January 2012 20:17

Do you get a boner behind trash trucks too? Ew go bathe.

GoW_Chick 14

Thursday 12 January 2012 20:36

Hey I would be amazed if SHE had a boner at all.

chellyX92 8

Friday 13 January 2012 1:16

For some odd reason my phone doesn't tell me the sex of the op, I assumed it was male because of nasty it was.

schizo_teddybear 8

Thursday 12 January 2012 20:39

I do this all the time. It's different for different people, but most people enjoy their own smells.

madi22511 0

Thursday 12 January 2012 20:39

Yummy

imacanadian 0

Thursday 12 January 2012 20:40

Done that before

LauraKaty 2

Thursday 12 January 2012 20:40

Ew! That's gross haha!

klikin 2

Thursday 12 January 2012 20:41

Sweat is a natural afrodisiac (spelling)

Branflakes78 13

Thursday 12 January 2012 20:53

WTF is wrong with you!

Nauvea 4

Thursday 12 January 2012 20:55

Why would you share that with anyone?

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Today, I was about to have sex with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my shirt off, she saw my chest acne. She ran out of my house and hasn't spoken to me in 5 hours. FML

agreeclassic 2 178

vote type 1 274

Today, I found out my ex-wife (who I have kids with) is now pregnant with another guy's twin babies. We have only been divorced a couple of months. FML

agreeclassic 439

vote type 1 137

Today, it was my birthday. I spent a pleasant day with one of my best friends, then I spent four hours in the emergency room because my husband broke his foot while working. We're both self-employed, so production is going to fall 6 weeks behind. FML

agreeclassic 850

vote type 1 146

Today, my chair abruptly fell apart completely while I was sitting on it. I didn't even do anything. Have I really gained that much weight? FML

agreeclassic 378

vote type 1 187

Today, my grandpa sent me a letter apologizing for not congratulating me about my graduation last spring. Too bad I don't graduate until May. FML

agreeclassic 25 642

vote type 1 4 291

Today, as every day for the past three weeks, my girlfriend's cat kept us up from 3:30am crying nonstop. We've tried everything, and even exiled my well-behaved cat to keep him company. Now she cries because she feels she's being punished. Starting around 4am. FML

agreeclassic 2 096

vote type 1 323

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