Intimacy: We need a break

We need a break

By pst - 21/11/2010 01:06 - South Africa

Today, the hooker I have been seeing regularly for almost a year texted me to say she thinks we should no longer see each other again. I just got dumped by a hooker. FML

agreeclassic 18 697

vote type 1 59 295

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

I'm innocent!

By Anonymous - 06/06/2022 04:00

Today, I got a text from an old hook up. I assumed it was a mistake, since we hadn’t spoken in years. She replied that her fiancé just dumped her after finding our old chat log. The last message was 10 years ago, and apparently she has become a prude since then, so now I’m a homewrecker. FML

agreeclassic 1 491

vote type 1 148

By Anonymous - 06/04/2016 14:31 - United States - Iowa Park

Today, I got mugged by a fake hooker. FML

agreeclassic 17 740

vote type 1 8 320

By Bigfatfailure - 28/03/2013 10:02 - United States - Garden Grove

Today, I got dumped during sex. FML

agreeclassic 73 562

vote type 1 9 872

By Anonymous - 22/08/2011 19:35 - United States

Today, a hooker refused my custom. According to her, "Even whores have standards." FML

agreeclassic 23 636

vote type 1 46 807

It's for the best

By yesguysgetabusedtoo - 24/05/2013 23:42 - New Zealand - Papamoa

Today, my girlfriend had someone else dump me via text message. I knew it wasn't her because for once I wasn't being viciously insulted, and it wasn't written as if an illiterate baboon had taken a shit all over her keypad. I can't even feel happy about being rid of her. FML

agreeclassic 45 638

vote type 1 6 955

By Anonymous - 08/05/2009 11:37 - United States

Today, I texted a girl who I had hooked up with the night before to see if she wanted to hang out again. She responded, "I think we should keep it the way it was, before last night." I just met her last night. FML

agreeclassic 57 836

vote type 1 13 794

Busted

By Anonymous - 02/11/2019 23:00

Today my girlfriend of three years broke up with me. Why? She wasn’t sure about the relationship anymore. She seemed pretty sure though, seeing she was on Tinder less than two hours after, thanks to the three different friends who all called me about it. FML

agreeclassic 2 064

vote type 1 176

By prostitutes boyfriend - 21/10/2011 14:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't go to work, she's actually been seeing another guy purely for sex, and each time he gives her money to "support her unemployment." Pretty sure that means I'm dating a prostitute. FML

agreeclassic 56 424

vote type 1 4 406

By brokenatthebar - 24/03/2017 09:00 - United States - Carleton

Today, I was dumped via text halfway through my 8-hour bar shift. I had to deal with my co-workers and customers asking me how my vacation with my now-ex was for the next 4 hours. FML

agreeclassic 4 785

vote type 1 325

Sex work is real work

By Anonymous - 22/09/2019 00:01

Today, I just found out my best friend is a hooker. I just thought she worked nights and had terrible taste in clothes. FML

agreeclassic 1 882

vote type 1 518

SleepingSkulls 0

Sunday 21 November 2010 9:21

This is probably the saddest thing I've ever read.

imsosleepy 9

Sunday 21 November 2010 10:44

A hooker? Did you honesty expect a Disney-styled happily ever ending?

Comments

chelseaaababyyy 17

Monday 18 July 2011 9:49

ew..

SmotNyleve 4

Saturday 6 August 2011 12:18

Lmfao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! xD

lostlosers 4

Tuesday 4 October 2011 16:44

oh wow that totally sucks

drodz241 0

Wednesday 12 October 2011 6:24

What does comment moderated mean anyway

Evan2297 0

Wednesday 12 October 2011 16:58

She's a hooker. What did you expect?

lilpowers 3

Friday 27 January 2012 7:06

You know you need to GET A LIFE when…

stepherz89 17

Saturday 6 April 2013 9:36

You seem so desperate

tewa21 12

Sunday 21 April 2013 21:25

Thats a new low.

Ashamed_Sister 60

Sunday 20 October 2013 10:42

He got friendzoned by a hooker.

james71993 21

Thursday 5 June 2014 19:39

That's shitty. Stop ******* hookers

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, I was surprised to see a little extra cash in my account for no reason. Confused, (and a little concerned about fraud) I called customer service. Turns out my dad had accidentally used the wrong routing number and put the money in the wrong account. So much for that extra $35. FML

agreeclassic 345

vote type 1 126

Today, I was finishing a cigarette outside of the mall when we heard someone fart. Turns out it was a little girl. They looked around, so jokingly I said, "We didn't hear anything." Her family giggled and so did we, until everyone realized the little girl was now sobbing. I'm a POS. FML

agreeclassic 869

vote type 1 219

Today, my boss's son is training to take over my job as head translator, after having convinced his dad that he's fluent in Spanish, and that my skills suck. I soon walked in on him using Google Translate on a legal document. My boss refuses to believe me. FML

agreeclassic 49 726

vote type 1 3 037

Today, I had to explain to my boss that using a wired connection instead of wifi won't stop his computer from getting viruses. He looked at me, open-mouthed and wide-eyed, like he was a 13-year-old boy and I was a pair of tits. Then he called me clueless and told me to get back to work. FML

agreeclassic 43 183

vote type 1 3 942

Today, my mom made me clean. I was dusting in the living room and heard gunshots outside the apartment. I dove on the floor and started crying and screaming. My mom walked in and informed me that the sound was her making popcorn. FML

agreeclassic 15 704

vote type 1 71 119

Today, I finally told my boyfriend I have a medical condition that makes me grow an unusual amount of hair on my face, so I shave every day. He said he was leaving me because he refuses to be with a "bearded lady". FML

agreeclassic 29 193

vote type 1 2 423