Animals: Today, while sitting on my front porch, my cat came up beside...

By and god shat - 11/07/2014 23:38 - United States - Klamath Falls

Today, while sitting on my front porch, my cat came up beside me. I started idly stroking her, only to turn and realize I was petting a wild raccoon. FML

agreeclassic 49 302

vote type 1 9 095

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Not so cute

By Anonymous - 01/12/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I tried to pet what I thought was a cute cat under my porch. As it turned out, it was actually a raccoon. It hissed at me, and I screamed so loud that my neighbors came running. FML

agreeclassic 121

vote type 1 449

Darwin smiled

By Ihateracoons - 06/09/2022 06:30

Today, I saw a raccoon family on my front porch. There were 3 little babies. Wanting to keep one as a pet, I scooped up one of the babies. The mother raccoon turned around, made a bizarre roaring, hissing sound, and attacked me. I’m currently in the ER covered in grass and scratches. FML

agreeclassic 162

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By Anonymous - 18/09/2010 06:31 - United States

Today, I was bringing the garbage cans inside and noticed one felt a little heavy. I opened it, only to find a raccoon. A very angry raccoon. FML

agreeclassic 34 470

vote type 1 2 933

Smelly business

By skunkcat - 11/03/2020 21:00 - United States

Today, I was drunk in a hotel lobby with some of my cousins. I went out on the patio to get some fresh air when I saw a black cat in the bushes. I went straight over to it and started to pet it. I realized too late that the black cat was actually a skunk. FML

agreeclassic 592

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By ambushcat - 06/07/2012 03:31 - United States

Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML

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Rescue me!

By anonymous - 13/09/2012 06:02 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I found an enormous raccoon in my backyard. After a couple of nasty scratches, I finally managed to capture the filthy animal. After calling animal control to relocate it, I waited for hours to learn that "relocating" actually means releasing it into my front yard 10 feet away. FML

agreeclassic 24 801

vote type 1 4 671

Take care

By Buyingagun - 08/04/2020 05:00

Today, I looked out the window just in time to see a coyote carrying off my cat that I had just let outside five minutes before. FML

agreeclassic 2 367

vote type 1 575

By catstew - 02/10/2009 01:43 - United States

Today, my mother's beloved cat died and we thought it would be nice to bury it in the back yard. I came home from work and while walking to the door saw that the cat had been dug up and partially eaten by the local raccoons and strays. FML

agreeclassic 34 153

vote type 1 4 451

By RaccoonFever - 10/01/2014 11:15 - United States - La Jolla

Today, I'm trapped in my apartment, due to the fact that five raccoons have decided to sit outside my only door and prevent me from getting out. Every time I look at one, they hiss at me. FML

agreeclassic 47 340

vote type 1 5 791

I'm not getting paid enough for this shit

By Username - 20/10/2010 18:08 - France

Today, at work, my boss made me spend a hour trying to catch a baby raccoon in the parking lot. I'm a bank teller. FML

agreeclassic 30 670

vote type 1 3 499

gjikvtj 18

Saturday 12 July 2014 5:32

Hey, at least it didn't bite you

EverestMelting 23

Saturday 12 July 2014 5:32

"Come snuggle with momma!"

Comments

Boomi 38

Wednesday 13 September 2017 13:22

One of my friends got her pet racoon Rascal that way, and not long after that Rascal brought along Sammy, not long after that Bandit, Colby and Sara were born. They all now have their little food bowls, collars and live as pets at her brother's house. They're such sweethearts, especially in the winter when they get cold and snuggle up with you under the blankets.