Love: Today, while playing with a lighter, I jokingly told my boyfriend...

By Anonymous - 19/09/2011 20:27 - United States

Today, while playing with a lighter, I jokingly told my boyfriend I would burn his mustache off. He responded by telling me he would burn off mine. FML

agreeclassic 15 648

vote type 1 36 753

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

Close but no cigar

By Anonymous - 23/12/2015 23:26

Today, while lighting a cigar, I set my beard on fire. FML

agreeclassic 18 617

vote type 1 15 143

By bojangles - 28/02/2009 00:34 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I don't like his facial hair and that he should shave it off. He replied, "You first." FML

agreeclassic 25 281

vote type 1 48 013

By S. Bauer - 02/11/2011 13:50 - Portugal

Today, I yelled at my boyfriend for smoking in the house, because I didn't want the house to smell like smoke. While doing so, I knocked over a candle and lit the couch on fire. FML

agreeclassic 34 570

vote type 1 14 923

By Anonymous - 03/07/2015 19:29 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied by telling me to fuck off. FML

agreeclassic 27 709

vote type 1 3 482

Sick burn

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML

agreeclassic 42 502

vote type 1 8 202

By anxious spaghetti - 03/12/2017 15:00

Today, I got dumped by my boyfriend over text. We wore each others' hats, so I gave his back and asked for mine. He “accidentally” burned it. FML

agreeclassic 3 752

vote type 1 463

By mustache girl - 27/05/2013 23:10 - Canada - Magog

Today, I waxed my upper lip hair. My boyfriend later told me that he missed my mustache rubbing onto his. FML

agreeclassic 51 125

vote type 1 6 068

By chinousmc - 06/12/2012 11:30 - United States - Clearwater

Today, I got punched in the face after a stranger asked for a light, didn't realize it was a butane lighter and burnt the tip of his nose lighting his cigarette. Now my nose looks worse than his. FML

agreeclassic 21 871

vote type 1 3 428

I'm awake

By meh beard - this FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Canada - Bowmanville

Today, my roommate thought it was a good idea to set my beard on fire to wake me up. FML

agreeclassic 21 922

vote type 1 1 645

By Anonymous - 16/01/2011 02:33 - United States

Today, we were celebrating my birthday and my boyfriend thought it would be funny to shove my face in the cake. While the candles were still lit. FML

agreeclassic 40 991

vote type 1 3 697

Dodie__fml 2

Tuesday 20 September 2011 1:05

You just got burned

Skulll 13

Tuesday 20 September 2011 1:05

Don't play with lighters!

Comments

vanessa9208 0

Tuesday 20 September 2011 4:42

two words. WAXING. ;) lol

ACM1991 9

Tuesday 20 September 2011 4:49

Shave your mustache girl jeeZee

tatababe 1

Tuesday 20 September 2011 5:20

He it a keeper :).

muhilrashid 4

Tuesday 20 September 2011 5:37

You have a mustache ?

havocmike 3

Tuesday 20 September 2011 5:41

So don't have a mustache.

jivveturkey 0

Tuesday 20 September 2011 5:57

thats a burn about a burn! thats a second degree burn!

Leigh_Badd 1

Tuesday 20 September 2011 6:32

Fight fire with fire!!

LockAndKey13 1

Tuesday 20 September 2011 6:38

I mustache you a question but I'll shave it for later :)

bannedforlife 0

Tuesday 20 September 2011 7:06

FFS, get rid of that shit. WTF.

SamanthaSaurus 13

Tuesday 20 September 2011 11:00

It would save you a lot of beautician money.

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, at work, I cashed out a sweet old lady. As I handed her the bag, she looked at me kindly and said, "Don’t worry sweetie. It'll get better," to which I responded, "What will get better?" She smiled at me and said, "Your face." FML

agreeclassic 4 769

vote type 1 377

Today, I learned that if you stare down an attractive man while pumping gas, he'll stare back. Then he might ask for your number. At which point his girlfriend will get out of the car and threaten to kick your ass. FML

agreeclassic 31 569

vote type 1 12 615

Today, I volunteered at a nursing home. I approached a lonely, old man who had a type of nervous tick. I went over to speak to him, and not even four sentences into our conversation he says, "I'd really like to make love to you." What I thought was a tick was actually him stroking himself. FML

agreeclassic 70 580

vote type 1 4 571

Today, a bug buzzed into my ear. In response, I punched myself in the face. FML

agreeclassic 41 138

vote type 1 29 322

Today, I agreed to lend my daughter's inflatable pool to my neighbor for the day. Barely an hour later, I witnessed his son jump off their balcony, missing the pool by inches. He's now in hospital, and my neighbor has sworn to sue me, saying I'm responsible because the pool is mine. FML

agreeclassic 61 177

vote type 1 4 095

Today, I returned to my teaching job at a local community college after surfing for the weekend. I'd got sunburned, one student immediately noticed and said to me, "Morning, Mr. Pinky!" Now they all do it. My students are assholes. I hate teaching. FML

agreeclassic 44 494

vote type 1 8 387

Similar FMLs

Close but no cigar

Sick burn

I'm awake

TOP COMMENTS

Comments