Transportation Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped...

Anonymous - 08/10/2009 21:26 - United Kingdom

Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML

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Carnival of Disasters
Dive into carnival, where hilarious costumes meet unexpected mishaps. Laughter is guaranteed, mask or no mask! …

carson28 - 17/12/2010 02:23 - United States

Today, I saw a homeless man on the corner, I thought I would be generous and give him some cash. I rolled down my window and waved my hand for him to come over. As he was walking over, he was struck by another car. FML

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You OK dude?

Anonymous - 28/03/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I walked out to the parking lot and caught a homeless man laying a fat steamer on the hood of my car. FML

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Anonymous - 18/02/2012 06:22 - United States

Today, a hobo threw up on my car while at a red light. He then asked me for money. FML

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WamBamSam - 21/11/2012 09:54 - United Kingdom - Kidderminster

Today, whilst at a red light in my car, a homeless man with a spray bottle and a dirty rag came over to clean my windows. He started with the driver's window, which was wide open, and whatever was in his spray bottle smelled suspiciously like urine. FML

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Jessy - 14/10/2011 11:22 - United Kingdom

Today, I was driving home when I saw my boyfriend chundering on the side of the road, into an old lady's shopping basket. FML

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Anonymous - 21/06/2013 09:04 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, after cricket training, the homeless man that lives in the drain next to the nets threw a beer bottle full of piss at me for rejecting him for a date last week. I ducked; it sailed through my car’s open window and smashed all over the seats. FML

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jackpot - 09/05/2011 01:53 - Venezuela

Today, I was in a parking lot looking for a spot, and after driving around for a long while I finally found one. A homeless man was taking a shit on it. FML

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Jehovah God - 07/03/2014 18:51 - United States - Richmond

Today, while I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped in front of my car, unzipped, and started pissing on my windshield. FML

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ugh - 14/06/2011 17:56 - United States

Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML

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Bashed

Anonymous - 25/08/2019 14:00 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street, wearing nothing offensive, minding my own business, when a car drove past and threw something that hit me really hard in the back of my head. It was a Bible. FML

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crumsnatcha 4

Friday 9 October 2009 2:00

At least you weren't riding a motorcycle.

MoonyIce 0

Friday 9 October 2009 1:55

Aaaand that. That there is one of the funniest things I've read all damn day. Thank you.

MiniatureMayhem 0

Friday 9 October 2009 22:11

Why does the Lord need praise? Does he have self-esteem issues?

railfan_fml 0

Friday 9 October 2009 22:25

mnemic, it's because he just finished taking a dump in it.

mrmidi 0

Friday 9 October 2009 23:32

Holy Shit!

Turner81 0

Friday 9 October 2009 23:48

LOFL!!!!HOLY SHIZ I would have ran his ass over!!! Or be to stunned!!!

dminorchord 0

Saturday 10 October 2009 0:02

I don't believe that for a second.

MissKia 0

Saturday 10 October 2009 0:28

Hahaha! That's the funniest thing!! Ha, just made my day. :)

letthemxeatcake 0

Saturday 10 October 2009 0:33

Maybe the shit was holy.

silly_kate 0

Saturday 10 October 2009 3:08

LMAO!!!!!!!!! please admit you pissed yourself laughing afterwards! that would be hilarious!

Noamfer 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 2:57

I admit it

k_a_r_a_n 0

Saturday 10 October 2009 6:08

Hahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lmao

cmgio 0

Saturday 10 October 2009 9:53

Again. Why is this bad? That is an AWESOME story.

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my girlfriend and I enjoyed a lovely shower together. It was indeed lovely until her father came into the washroom to say “Welcome to the family!” whilst taking a giant shit. FML

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Today, I was in the bathroom at a party when I noticed a spider the size of a golf ball on the toilet paper roll. I screamed, tripped over my own feet trying to flee, and fell right into the bathtub. Everyone at the party heard. FML

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Today, I went to a friend's wedding. I took stupid photos all day long and when came the moment that the bride entered the church, my battery died. FML

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Today, one of my friends pointed out I'm starting to get a mustache! - "You're finally a man!" To bad it's my 15th birthday, and I'm a girl. FML

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Today, I was scrolling through a bunch of old posts that my boyfriend's ex had posted about me on Facebook from a fake account she used to stalk and harass me for months. It was then that I figured out that one of my friends and my mother had been helping her the whole time. FML

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Today, my parents and I were looking for something using the TV's search bar. Despite never, ever watching anything resembling porn, one of the default search options was, "Hot female Asian sex videos." Thank God they have an excellent sense of humor, as they laughed their heads off. FML

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