Health and Miscellaneous: Today, when I went over a bump, I was assaulted by a badly-fitted...

By anon - 07/02/2017 01:00 - United Kingdom - Ely

Today, when I went over a bump, I was assaulted by a badly-fitted bicycle seat. I've been walking like John Wayne all afternoon. FML

agreeclassic 5 113

vote type 1 785

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This is how I roll

By Carrie P - 14/08/2024 20:00 - France - Lambesc

Today, I went out to where I'd parked my bike only to find that someone had stolen my bike seat. Not the bike, just the seat. I had to ride my bike two miles home in the rain like I was climbing a hill in the Tour de France, while other cyclists moved out of my way in confusion, all while trying to avoid me. FML

agreeclassic 437

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By ihpgolj - 18/06/2009 05:31 - United States

Today, I was riding my bike down a road I know is quite hazardous. Having almost been hit in the same spot the day before, I rode across the intersection very satisfied without having been injured. Until I crashed into the guy front of me and flipped over my handlebars. FML

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Freakout!

By beer guy - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff

Today, I got punched in the back by elderly woman because she thought I was mocking the way she walked as I passed her. I was walking funny because I have a brace-boot on my foot due to the fact that it got run over. FML

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By Anonymous - 16/09/2011 17:26 - United States

Today, I was brutally run over by a man in a wheelchair. FML

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By myheadhurts - 12/11/2013 02:14 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I got a concussion. It was when an entire shelf of bicycle helmets tumbled onto my skull. FML

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These boots were made for walking

By Triple F - 07/03/2009 17:16 - United States

Today, I laced up my fabulous new boots and walked outside to find my hot neighbor, with whom I carpool every morning. I struck a pose, feeling quite confident. Upon taking my first step down the stairs, I fell forward. I woke up an hour later with 7 stitches in my head. FML

agreeclassic 23 197

vote type 1 40 343

Sorry!

By Anonymous - 30/03/2012 14:42 - United Kingdom

Today, I got on the train with my bike, leaning it up against the wall. After a while, it began to slide down the wall and wobble, so I dashed out to catch it. As I ran for it, I slipped and crashed into it, knocking it into an old man and busting the rear brake. FML

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Breaking the law (and bones)

By Carl - 18/09/2022 20:30

Today, I came out from the E.R. with an arm cast and stitches on my head, all because a cyclist ran me over on a pedestrian walkway and got away. FML

agreeclassic 1 046

vote type 1 93

By fuck right off - 04/04/2015 17:32 - United Kingdom - Coalville

Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML

agreeclassic 35 552

vote type 1 3 032

Alexa, play "Fast Cars" by Buzzcocks

By Sparky - 20/07/2022 18:00

Today, I was sent to the hospital after being hit by a car while on my bicycle. The police officer said it was my fault for not looking, even though the car pulled up without looking. I now have a small herniated disc in my neck and abrasions on my thigh. FML

agreeclassic 980

vote type 1 249

RodzillaX 30

Tuesday 7 February 2017 4:32

Did your bike at least kiss you first?

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 7 February 2017 2:04

That's nuts!

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 7 February 2017 2:04

That's nuts!

RodzillaX 30

Tuesday 7 February 2017 4:32

Did your bike at least kiss you first?

tomvertigo 17

Tuesday 7 February 2017 4:55

I just didn't realize John Wayne walked like that... #birdcagequotes

jcash52426 5

Tuesday 7 February 2017 5:46

Well I guess you don't like anal then.

Cali 54

Tuesday 7 February 2017 12:30

At least not on the receiving end...

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 7 February 2017 15:37

If he did, he wouldn't bother with a seat.

Cali 54

Wednesday 8 February 2017 10:53

Get there and "get there". Kill two birds with one stone!

trucker2 33

Tuesday 7 February 2017 6:42

Instead of telling them your bum hurts just tell them your thighs are chafed

species4872 19

Tuesday 7 February 2017 17:34

For all you people who doesn't know who John Wayne was he was a mostly western film actor from the 1950's 60's

tomvertigo 17

Wednesday 8 February 2017 21:00

Thank you, Mr. IMDB.

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, my boyfriend tickled me. In between laughs, I warned him that I was going to pee myself. He didn't believe me. After I actually did, he suggested we use a "safety word" from now on so that he will know when I'm being serious. FML

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Today, I was awoken at the ungodly hour of 1 a.m. to find that everything was very dark and quiet. It took me way more time than I'd like to admit to figure out that there was a blackout. As I tried to doze off again, I was jump-scared by the sound of everything coming on again. This happened twice. FML

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Today, my geriatric cat apparently leaked a little before he got to the litter box because when I went to use the bathroom, I slipped on the puddle. My left foot slammed into the kick panel of the cabinet and now my second toe is purple, swollen and tender. I may have broken my toe by slipping on cat piss. FML

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This is how I roll

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Freakout!

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