Today, not only do I have the flu in the middle of August, but... - FML

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By Chels - 19/08/2017 20:47

Today, not only do I have the flu in the middle of August, but I also have second degree burns from accidentally spilling hot soup on my legs. FML

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treo1262 5

Wednesday 23 August 2017 3:30

I'm glad I'm not the only one whose sick in August.

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treo1262 5

Wednesday 23 August 2017 3:30

I'm glad I'm not the only one whose sick in August.

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Today, I had planned a pig eye dissection with my students. I didn’t think it was possible to have a student stupid enough to swallow the lens. Now I do. FML

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Today, after my bosses excitedly told me I'm getting promoted to customer service at our grocery store, a customer called me an idiot in the parking lot for accidentally backing into the shopping cart she left in my blind spot. So it begins… FML

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Today, I was at the mall and started singing along to the playing of "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas." A kid glanced at me and said to her mom, "She IS a hippopotamus." FML

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Today, I overheard my boyfriend complaining that I’m lazy since I never cook for him. I stopped cooking for him because he constantly complained that the food was never as good as what his ex-wife made, or like his mom made. FML

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Today, I tried to look cool while playing beer pong. Instead, I slipped violently on a puddle of spilled beer, threw my drink over the person next to me and on the ground, and then fell face-first into the mess I made. FML

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Today, in my film class, we were watching Schindler's List. At least, we tried. The moron next to me kept interrupting the most intense scenes with a very loud, "I don't get it." Not only did she break the focus of the class, but we had to keep stopping the movie to explain it to her. FML

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