Miscellaneous: Today, my roommate decided to splash out on a prostitute. When...

By eric4 - 23/05/2013 20:11 - United Kingdom - Cheltenham

Today, my roommate decided to splash out on a prostitute. When my expensive watch and the contents of my wallet turned up missing in the aftermath, his only comment was, "Shit happens, bro." FML

agreeclassic 48 477

vote type 1 4 372

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By Look's like she's paying all of it now. - 06/06/2017 02:00

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By liquorless - 05/11/2012 14:02 - Canada - Hamilton

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Today, I came home to find that my roommate had picked my lock and stolen my new laptop. When I tried to take it back, he called the police. They sided with him since he had also taken the receipt, which was "proof" that it was his. FML

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mpsteve137 15

Friday 24 May 2013 2:21

Punch him in the face and say shit happens bro

Sir_ND_Pity 35

Friday 24 May 2013 2:21

remind him of that when he finds out he has an STD

Comments

Bronze_ace 13

Saturday 7 December 2013 8:54

Yea he would end up being thrown through a door

RampagingBoner 12

Sunday 7 June 2015 4:31

Nice roommate you got there.

fmlhernebay 0

Thursday 9 March 2017 10:39

Sex worker*

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, it's the first day in 14 weeks I've got dressed up and gone out anywhere other than to go food shopping. Shame it’s to attend a funeral. FML

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Today, I was chewed out by a lady who claimed the laptop she bought wouldn't turn on, and that she wanted a refund. She yelled and shoved the laptop at me, not even listening when I told her I didn't even work at that store. FML

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Today, at a party, I walked in on a guy I like fucking a girl. Last week, we attempted to hook up - he'd taken my shirt off then said, "Sorry, this doesn't feel right. I can't do this." I angrily told him, "So she feels right for you, huh?" He replied, "Her gut didn't hang when I took her top off. Now leave us alone." FML

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Today, I blushed when a fortune cookie said, "You have the attitude of a winner." My self esteem is that low. FML

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Today, while at work, a customer came up to me, stuck his finger in my armpit, then licked his finger. FML

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