Miscellaneous: Today, my husband thought it would be funny to mow a penis into... - FML

By Anonymous - 25/06/2013 23:26 - United States

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to mow a penis into our lawn. I guess he forgot my parents are coming over. FML

agreeclassic 44 881

vote type 1 5 356

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The art, the artist

By waltzy777 - 26/04/2009 08:12 - United States

Today, we were having a family get together at my house. Because of this, I had to mow our lawn to make sure it looked nice. I got a little bored and decided it would be funny to cut a rather large penis into my yard. Right when I'd finished, I ran out of gas. My 83 year-old grandmother saw. FML

agreeclassic 13 617

vote type 1 83 073

By Anonymous - 17/08/2013 10:52 - United States

Today, one of the kids in my neighborhood told me he would mow my lawn for 10 bucks. After a few minutes, I heard the mower stop. He had mowed a penis into my front yard then run away. FML

agreeclassic 50 160

vote type 1 7 990

By Anonymous - 13/09/2017 08:00 - Canada - Grand Bay

Today, I thought it would be funny to mow a dick into my grandmother's lawn, but the mower leaked gasoline and now there's a giant dead grass outline. FML

agreeclassic 1 162

vote type 1 4 649

By overthehorizon - 27/07/2009 17:25 - United States

Today, I thought I would surprise my dad by mowing our entire two acre lawn. When he got home, instead of being grateful like I had hoped, he yelled at me for cutting in vertical lines instead of horizontal. FML

agreeclassic 56 570

vote type 1 4 216

By Anonymous - 01/06/2013 20:50 - United States

Today, wanting to do something nice for my dad, I mowed the lawn. He grounded me for "emasculating" him. FML

agreeclassic 53 053

vote type 1 4 418

By What. - 14/08/2013 00:08 - United States - Pawtucket

Today, my father bought a riding lawn mower. We don't have a lawn. FML

agreeclassic 44 084

vote type 1 3 571

By Anonymous - 13/11/2011 08:40 - Canada

Today, I got home late to find my dad outside mowing the lawn in the dark. I told him the neighbors were going to think he lost his marbles for mowing it at that time. He then informed me he wasn't mowing it, he was vacuuming it. FML

agreeclassic 32 957

vote type 1 2 507

Eye bleach

By deardaughter - 14/08/2019 06:00 - Australia

Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my father trimming his pubes over the bin with our kitchen scissors. FML

agreeclassic 1 836

vote type 1 125

By Anonymous - 10/07/2011 23:51 - United States

Today, my husband finally got round to cutting down a tree limb in our front yard after months of me begging him. It fell on me. FML

agreeclassic 27 361

vote type 1 15 867

Not now, Sweetie

By Redbeard - 24/01/2020 05:00

Today, while we had my husband's boss over, my 3-year-old son decided to burst into the living room naked and yell, "Mum, look! Penis!" and wiggle it around. FML

agreeclassic 2 206

vote type 1 373

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TOP COMMENTS

zingline89 18

Wednesday 26 June 2013 9:35

Oh no, he remembered alright

Mech1989 13

Wednesday 26 June 2013 9:35

That is insanely funny. Hopefully your parents are pretty easy going.

Comments

WhiteCrimson 23

Wednesday 26 June 2013 9:42

Lol Its a man thing.....

Pesticides 19

Thursday 27 June 2013 10:16

its more of a joke thing...

Speibrand 10

Wednesday 26 June 2013 9:42

Well it's seems you had enough time to type about it...

Ayanpatel95 7

Wednesday 26 June 2013 9:42

I think you can easily fix it....btw anyone remember the scene from Harold and kumar- White Castle? They have big penis mowed in te end? That's wht I'm imagining

graceinsheepwear 33

Wednesday 26 June 2013 14:26

13 Getting a big penis mowed in the end is always an interesting scene. It's no wonder you're imagining it!

pitbulls13 6

Wednesday 26 June 2013 9:50

there was one almost exactly the same as this not too long ago...

sacrosanct2 23

Wednesday 26 June 2013 9:50

I doubt he forgot

TeenieRee_2032 27

Wednesday 26 June 2013 9:53

Hey OP, don't take life so seriously, no one gets out alive anyway.

alblynne 8

Wednesday 26 June 2013 10:09

Ahahaha made my day

Mightytall 35

Wednesday 26 June 2013 10:21

Hilarious! I will try that at home too! In laws are coming July 10th :-)

Mimorie17 12

Wednesday 26 June 2013 10:21

You have a funny husband there lol.

gabbi630 16

Wednesday 26 June 2013 10:35

He remembers all right.

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vote type 1 5 445

Today, I found out who's been stealing clothes from me during swim practice. She called me a liar, despite wearing one of my sweaters, which has my initials stitched into it. FML

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Today, my brother came to my first standup comedy act. He'd apparently read my material beforehand, and kept finishing my jokes for me. FML

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Today, my boys get in so much trouble, I don’t even bother checking on them anymore. Instead, every ten minutes, I yell up the stairs to stop whatever they’re doing, and every time without fail they guiltily apologise and try to blame each other/promise to fix it/swear not to do it again. EVERY TIME. FML

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Today, I calculated how long it’s been since I had a partner. Works out to 7 years officially and 11 years unofficially. However, if you count the fact that my deadbeat ex wasn’t ever really present in the marriage, then I’ve been single all my life. FML

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