Intimacy: Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear...

By Indigo_Kitten - 08/08/2010 01:05 - United States

Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML

agreeclassic 32 005

vote type 1 19 073

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

By PTKFML - 26/07/2009 04:37 - United States

Today, while in the middle of having sex with my husband, instead of saying something sexy in my ear, he whispered, "We are so gonna make pizza after this." FML

agreeclassic 54 841

vote type 1 7 624

By Something I said? - 05/11/2013 15:26 - United States - Bronx

Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML

agreeclassic 30 071

vote type 1 59 129

Revealing

By kitkat545 - 15/06/2009 23:18 - United States

Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML

agreeclassic 30 134

vote type 1 51 061

By Anonymous - 02/06/2012 10:24 - United Kingdom - Northampton

Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML

agreeclassic 18 266

vote type 1 32 766

By Anonymous - 27/09/2012 02:29 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my girlfriend told me what turns her on: cheese. FML

agreeclassic 23 199

vote type 1 2 829

By Anonymous - 07/04/2015 21:00 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML

agreeclassic 35 058

vote type 1 4 690

By Anonymous - 16/05/2012 20:34 - Netherlands - Kerkrade

Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started to place his order at a fast food joint, and trying to be funny, I started moaning sexily after each part of his order. I eventually realised I was on speaker when I heard snickering in the background. FML

agreeclassic 7 745

vote type 1 32 299

By Subliminal message - 19/01/2014 23:21 - Switzerland

Today, my boyfriend started whispering "blowjobbbb" into my ear while we were watching a movie. When I asked him what he was doing, he denied ever saying it and claimed it must have been a subliminal message in the movie. FML

agreeclassic 55 762

vote type 1 8 500

The language of love

By disgusted - 24/09/2012 19:16 - United Kingdom - Harpenden

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

agreeclassic 30 973

vote type 1 6 547

So sensual...

By Wellokthen - 17/02/2017 22:00 - United States

Today, things began to get hot and heavy between my boyfriend and me. Suddenly, in a deep, sexy voice, he whispered, "God help me for what I'm about to do." Thinking it was just an odd manner of dirty talk, I mumbled about liking it. He then farted very loudly. FML

agreeclassic 9 134

vote type 1 1 178

thatonekid2010 0

Sunday 8 August 2010 9:13

mmmm cheeseburger :)

wasup21 0

Sunday 8 August 2010 9:13

lmao. did you get it supersized?

Comments

Brookie_91 0

Sunday 8 August 2010 22:57

Aww that's no so bad. Pretty funny. Just laugh at it yourself so they can't make fun of you :)

nldawgsccr22795 0

Monday 9 August 2010 0:01

ha fatty?

jinthar720 0

Monday 9 August 2010 0:12

epicly awesome

conor19 0

Monday 9 August 2010 0:49

that's hilarious omg I actually lol cheeseburger XD

jlynntiger 0

Monday 9 August 2010 1:16

ur uhhh weird

ericmoses 0

Monday 9 August 2010 5:52

mmmmm food and moans lol

OMGxITZxNIKKY 0

Monday 9 August 2010 7:52

hahahahha #100 tht is a reference too dayne cook xDDD lmaoo I lovee tht ! <3

xXshotsXx 0

Monday 9 August 2010 8:47

mmmmmmm chezbugers (:

aggieskate900 0

Monday 9 August 2010 10:49

Good God. SO MUCH WIN

aggieskate900 0

Monday 9 August 2010 10:51

Good God. SO MUCH WIN

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, my date was making remarks about “stupid illegals” and “immigrants are everything wrong with this country” because our waiter barely spoke English and apparently got his order wrong. When I reminded him I’m an immigrant, he said, “But you speak English and you’re legal, so you don’t count.” FML

agreeclassic 932

vote type 1 276

Today, a dog attacked me. Its owner, instead of apologizing and helping me, said it was my own fault for making it think I was an attacker by running past them. We were on a jogging track. FML

agreeclassic 29 770

vote type 1 1 980

Today, my boyfriend forgot our anniversary. But it's okay; I wasn't expecting anything after he forgot my birthday, Valentine's Day, and my name. FML

agreeclassic 43 262

vote type 1 28 641

Today, I got a call from the police dept. My ex-boyfriend is applying for a job there, and they called me to ask if he was "a good candidate for a police officer." I had to start my day off by saying great, nice things about the guy who broke my heart and completely disrespected me. FML

agreeclassic 32 541

vote type 1 20 687

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate in the backseat of his car, when a police car pulled up behind us. My mom later told me that intimacy was fine, just not in a car. We were in the car because she told me that intimacy was fine, just not in her house. FML

agreeclassic 56 909

vote type 1 13 034

Today, my sister had an emotional breakdown because two guys love her and she can't pick just one. Meanwhile I'm single and spend my time laying treats on my floor in a pattern and watching my rabbit run in circles. FML

agreeclassic 49 446

vote type 1 4 322

Similar FMLs

Revealing

The language of love

So sensual...

TOP COMMENTS

Comments