Intimacy: Today, my husband decided it would be funny to shout "Woohoo!"...

By anonymous - 03/02/2011 05:17

Today, my husband decided it would be funny to shout "Woohoo!" in Michael Jackson's voice while having an orgasm. FML

agreeclassic 34 302

vote type 1 6 459

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By mrssagdiyev - 05/03/2011 14:19 - United States

Today, my husband decided to imitate Borat and shout "Very Nice! I Excite!" while having sex. He's also decided that it was ingenious and does it every single time, the entire time. FML

agreeclassic 36 654

vote type 1 5 451

By fmlalways - 22/01/2011 13:00 - United Kingdom

Today, whilst having sex, my husband screamed out a man's name. FML

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Honky

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML

agreeclassic 27 521

vote type 1 5 249

By anonymous - 19/02/2011 13:12 - United States

Today, I was having the best sex with my husband, and right when I reached climax, he shouted "Abracadabra!" FML

agreeclassic 39 091

vote type 1 7 407

Revealing

By kitkat545 - 15/06/2009 23:18 - United States

Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML

agreeclassic 30 134

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Big kid

By Anonymous - 08/09/2012 14:20 - United States - Rhodes

Today, I told my husband that I'm tired of feeling like his "blow-up doll". His response was to honk my boob and make squeaking noises. FML

agreeclassic 30 414

vote type 1 5 729

By Anonymous - 13/10/2012 21:54 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, my husband decided that he simply couldn't exist any longer without giving me his own version of a wet-willy. He creeped up on me as I was sleeping and wiggled his wet penis around in my ear. FML

agreeclassic 35 179

vote type 1 4 220

Grammy award winner

By blow away - 28/07/2014 04:36 - United States - Middletown

Today, my husband played a recording of me breaking wind in my sleep to my whole family at the dinner table. To make matters worse, it was a compilation of different noises from over a long period of time. My family was horrified and my husband seemed proud of himself. FML

agreeclassic 43 393

vote type 1 4 579

No gods no masters

By Anonymous - 01/03/2024 09:00 - United States - North Royalton

Today, during a intense orgasm I screamed, "You're my God!" at my husband. Afterwards, he told me I was blasphemous and reminded me that God smites those with false prophets. Needless to say, I think I'll just keep my mouth shut in the future. FML

agreeclassic 619

vote type 1 198

Bad advice

By Kate - 07/06/2011 07:50 - United States

Today, I was reading a crappy "How to spice up your marriage" book with my husband for laughs. One of the ideas was for the guy to whip his knob out, stand behind his girl and say "Can you say that into the microphone?" Now he does it every chance he gets, and I fall for it EVERY TIME. FML

agreeclassic 14 678

vote type 1 44 250

jewban 3

Thursday 3 February 2011 12:19

jamonaaaaa!!!!! HEeHEe

SirSantpoort 0

Thursday 3 February 2011 12:20

Its your husband.. Who cares if he makes a joke like that.. As long as he doesnt do it all the time :)

Comments

AngelGoneWrong95 9

Friday 8 August 2014 4:02

that's awesome! If you disagree, beat it!

fantasyworld 37

Saturday 30 August 2014 19:07

He has somewhat of a sense of humour.

paolino_fml 18

Tuesday 30 December 2014 10:12

LEGEND

kimise 21

Friday 14 August 2015 17:32

Don't you mean "heeeehee" ?

Paws_Cat 29

Saturday 26 September 2015 0:50

You've been hit by You've been ****** by A smooth criminal

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Today, I sent my husband out for baby formula and cocoa butter to soothe my boobs from breastfeeding. He came back with powdered milk and deep heat rub. AND he still wanted praise for at least having tried to get what I asked for. I would kill him, but I need his wages while I'm on maternity. FML

agreeclassic 1 022

vote type 1 225

Today, I was willing to sit behind a truck doing 10km/h just to hear an interview with Robbie Williams on the radio. FML

agreeclassic 7 518

vote type 1 23 005

Today, with 3 miles left of a 16-mile bike ride, I got a flat tire and had to push my bike back to my car. FML

agreeclassic 1 525

vote type 1 238

Today, I deliberately didn't tell my therapist half of what I was going through because I didn't want to depress her. FML

agreeclassic 48 341

vote type 1 11 437

Today, I went to a Red Hot Chilli Peppers concert with my best friend. We've been looking forward to this for over six months. She spent the entire pre-drinks, pre-party, and concert glued to her phone. FML

agreeclassic 875

vote type 1 124

Today, I learned that my hair color is classified as "Buttered Toast". FML

agreeclassic 1 382

vote type 1 294