Love: Today, my husband caught me scratching my armpit with his beard...

By Anonymous - 12/02/2017 08:00 - United States - Princeton

Today, my husband caught me scratching my armpit with his beard brush. Just last week I swore that I never touch it. FML

agreeclassic 2 454

vote type 1 12 379

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Similar FMLs

By Anonymous - 25/11/2011 03:51 - United States

Today, I rubbed my face in my armpit stubble because it felt like my ex-boyfriend's face. FML

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By marisa - 05/01/2013 00:31 - Ireland - Carlow

Today, I had to beg my husband not to shave his pubic hair into a handlebar moustache. FML

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Revenge is sweet

By Jim20 - 20/02/2025 03:00 - Germany - Friedberg

Today, I found out my sister scratches her butt with my toothbrush every time she is mad with me. FML

agreeclassic 481

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WTF?

By Shane - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, I was dry-walling a house when my butt started to itch. I bent over to scratch it on a piece of plywood, at which point the client's wife walked in and asked what the fuck I was doing. FML

agreeclassic 10 243

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Gross idea

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, my husband and I got into a fight because I refused to let him use my fingernail to clean the plaque off his teeth. FML

agreeclassic 28 234

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By Anonymous - 19/02/2013 06:19 - United States - New Castle

Today, I was hanging out with the guy I really like. I lifted my arms to put my hair in a ponytail when he noticed a hole that had apparently tore in the armpit of my shirt, so he put his finger through it. I haven't shaved in weeks. FML

agreeclassic 20 205

vote type 1 55 585

By TheSneakyNugget - 24/04/2016 15:18 - United States - Pleasanton

Today, I watched a large, sweaty woman stick a hairbrush down her shirt to scratch a rash on her back, before putting it back on the shelf. FML

agreeclassic 16 367

vote type 1 1 109

Inappropriate behavior

By start waxing - 23/07/2022 14:00

Today, for the third time, I had to tell my stepfather to stop using my razor. It seems when I told him last time that I use it on my armpits, that only encouraged the behaviour. FML

agreeclassic 842

vote type 1 122

By Anonymous - 08/02/2010 06:58 - United States

Today, my boyfriend, who hasn't shaved in a month, went to go shave. I was pretty excited since his beard was starting to make my face itch whenever we kissed. When he came out of the bathroom he had a handlebar mustache. FML

agreeclassic 33 772

vote type 1 8 998

Classic confusion

By Anonymous - 28/11/2023 05:00

Today, while I was shaving my nose started to itch. Guess which I shaved and which I itched. FML

agreeclassic 351

vote type 1 199

leogachi 15

Sunday 12 February 2017 14:07

Why would you even do that?

EnvyMe33 26

Sunday 12 February 2017 14:19

Out of all the things to use to scratch your armpit, why the hell would you use that?!? How rude!!

Comments

tehlandbear 1

Tuesday 14 February 2017 6:18

YOU ARE A BAD PERSON

tehlandbear 1

Tuesday 14 February 2017 6:20

YOU ARE A BAD PERSON

faireanjell 5

Friday 17 February 2017 19:12

faireanjell 5

Friday 17 February 2017 19:12

lisyaorancrazed 16

Friday 5 May 2017 6:51

ok, YDI but also, who owns a beard brush...

worldreaver 5

Saturday 24 July 2021 5:06

um....men with beards do? ....that's like asking who owns a hairbrush. *eyeroll

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Today, I was threatened with suspension from school because of my nose piercing. I had to explain that it's actually a pimple. FML

agreeclassic 40 485

vote type 1 2 939

Today, I saw one of my employees sipping from a beer bottle at work. I marched to his desk, snatched the bottle, and said, "Drinking on the job? You're fired. Get out." I then looked at the bottle. It was kombucha. FML

agreeclassic 42

vote type 1 766

Today, my fiancé actually tried to skip my mum’s birthday by claiming the cat was asleep on him, and he didn’t want to move, then he yelled at me when I moved the cat for him. Guess he forgot it’s a surprise party and we’re the ones supposed to be driving my mum there. FML

agreeclassic 464

vote type 1 133

Today, I signed my own plaster-cast to make people believe that I actually have friends. FML

agreeclassic 29 874

vote type 1 7 707

Today, I was making out like a sixteen year old at the high school prom with this guy I kinda liked. All of a sudden, he rolls away and tells me he's "finished." We both had our clothes on the entire time. He is 23, I'm 25. I didn't know that was possible. FML

agreeclassic 24 470

vote type 1 3 880

Today, my girlfriend was driving me to her house against my will when I said, "Sometimes it's annoying that you always decide where we go because you drive." She replied, "Yeah, I wish I could be more of the girl in this relationship." FML

agreeclassic 14 610

vote type 1 81 270