Miscellaneous: Today, my father decided it would be a good idea to give me the...

By tobuscus9412 - 22/03/2015 01:04 - Australia - Woronora

Today, my father decided it would be a good idea to give me the sex talk, at Target, at the top of his lungs. FML

agreeclassic 33 171

vote type 1 3 343

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By Anonymous - 16/02/2011 05:50

Today, my dad gave me the dreaded sex talk, but he got sidetracked and started talking about how good my mum was in bed. FML

agreeclassic 52 240

vote type 1 4 192

By PPP - 28/04/2015 15:05 - United States

Today, I overheard my mom giving my 6-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML

agreeclassic 32 686

vote type 1 3 343

By It was the 11 year old - 21/07/2012 08:00 - United States - Austin

Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML

agreeclassic 29 940

vote type 1 5 040

By Anonymous - 23/02/2012 20:25 - United States

Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML

agreeclassic 16 834

vote type 1 37 559

By more than I wanted to know - 13/05/2013 19:10 - Italy - San Giustino

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML

agreeclassic 85 226

vote type 1 5 880

By confused_girl - 01/08/2013 05:10 - United States - Cedar Rapids

Today, I got the sex talk from my dad. It wouldn't have been so bad if he hadn't said, "It's not the size of the stick, it's how you use it." I'm a girl. FML

agreeclassic 60 417

vote type 1 5 047

By CallaC - 15/03/2012 02:01 - Canada

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother popped her head into the room and said, "Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that?" FML

agreeclassic 39 535

vote type 1 2 906

Scarred for life

By Aly - 09/12/2011 15:40 - United States

Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML

agreeclassic 48 197

vote type 1 5 870

By linn - 27/09/2012 20:14 - United States

Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I came back, I overheard my dad telling my mom that I'm so unpopular, the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin. FML

agreeclassic 42 159

vote type 1 3 215

By Dammit... - 20/11/2010 02:45 - United States

Today, my mom told my dad to get me extra absorbent pads, very loudly, in a crowded mall. FML

agreeclassic 29 274

vote type 1 3 695

arandomperson97 18

Sunday 22 March 2015 16:09

Did he use objects from the shelf as visuals too?

feven 32

Sunday 22 March 2015 16:13

"So son, you take this here (picks up shoes) and stick it into here (points at socks). AND that is how babies are made"

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moodyreallyrocks 27

Friday 22 April 2016 16:36

He could have been hitting on someone!! LOL..

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Today, after I requested a sick day, a very close co-worker texted her boyfriend that I'm a bitch for pretending to have the same rare illness that she recently suffered. She said it was unlikely, disrespectful and unfair that I didn't even look sick. I know this because she texted me instead. FML

agreeclassic 27 291

vote type 1 2 802

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a furniture store. We split up for a bit, and after a while I went to find him. A salesman noticed I seemed to be looking around for him and said, "Oh, your son is upstairs." We're the same age. FML

agreeclassic 27 648

vote type 1 2 387

Today, I was sitting the living room, when my mom commented on the smell of garlic in the air. After ten minutes of searching for the source, she gave up. I was too embarrassed to admit that I'd tried using garlic to cure my yeast infection. FML

agreeclassic 11 986

vote type 1 33 937

Today, I was lectured about how emotionally immature I am by someone who, afterwards, promptly threw a chair out of anger. FML

agreeclassic 7 170

vote type 1 557

Today, while sprinting, I tripped, fell, and somehow managed to kick myself in the balls. Legs shouldn’t bend like that and I’m frankly amazed I didn’t break my knee. My wife got the whole thing on video too. FML

agreeclassic 685

vote type 1 141

Today, I got called into my manager’s office for wearing “leggings.” They weren’t leggings, they were work pants with a straight leg. I said to her that the other girls wear them in the office. She told me, "But they have a slim figure, you're on the pudgier side and it looks bad. No offense.” FML

agreeclassic 1 855

vote type 1 296

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