Miscellaneous: Today, my dad came to visit me. By visit I mean he arrived, took...

By Anonymous - 02/06/2011 14:10 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad came to visit me. By visit I mean he arrived, took a huge smelly dump and left. This is the first time I've seen my dad in months. FML

agreeclassic 36 025

vote type 1 3 080

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

Final destination

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my dad's cremated remains came in the mail. This is the first time in my entire adult life that he has visited me at my home. FML

agreeclassic 39 536

vote type 1 2 831

Not again!

By green and not with envy - 13/06/2014 20:17 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my dad called me into the bathroom, saying, "Get a load of this shit, son" and forcing me to look at the biggest, foulest-smelling turd I have ever seen in my life in the toilet. It's been three hours and I still feel physically ill. FML

agreeclassic 46 800

vote type 1 5 806

By IAmACoolCat - 05/07/2011 16:41 - United States

Today, I found my dad using my bathroom. Why? Because he "had to take a crap" and didn't want to stink up his own bathroom. FML

agreeclassic 35 551

vote type 1 4 968

Pleasant

By daddydaughterWTF - 02/08/2012 00:06 - United States - Port Saint Lucie

Today, after spending five years regaining contact with my estranged father, I finally met him. I tearfully dropped my luggage and ran to hug him. He belched and told me to get in the car, because he had diarrhea. FML

agreeclassic 27 608

vote type 1 2 646

Morning conversation

By Anonymous - 15/03/2021 08:01

Today, I went into the bathroom only to discover my dad on the pot. “Oh, sorry”, I say and turn to leave. His reply, “Oh I don’t mind. Just having a shit here.” FML

agreeclassic 710

vote type 1 203

By Dan223 - 01/10/2015 13:26 - United States

Today, I saw my dad for the first time in almost five years, at his funeral. FML

agreeclassic 32 625

vote type 1 3 745

By fugachumi - 07/08/2011 08:08 - United States

Today, I discovered that every morning at around 3:00 my dad takes a monumental dump in my bathroom. When I confronted him about it he denied it. He still does it. FML

agreeclassic 26 851

vote type 1 3 515

By Anonymous - 10/06/2016 21:29 - United States - Westfield

Today, I went to my father's house to get my dog, since I had left it with him while I was on a business trip. When I got there, my dad said the dog pooped on the floor a few days ago, and so he took him to the pound. FML

agreeclassic 16 137

vote type 1 1 014

Smells like teen shit

By great 1st impression - 25/05/2014 16:09 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming, "What the fuck?!" FML

agreeclassic 52 993

vote type 1 7 934

By Forgotten - 06/09/2009 07:26 - United States

Today, I decided to visit my dad. I haven't seen him in a while so I wanted to give him another chance to be an actual dad to me. Apparently, getting drunk and getting it on with his girlfriend while I was there was more important than spending time with his daughter, who he hasn't seen in almost a year. FML

agreeclassic 47 705

vote type 1 4 083

shamille 5

Thursday 2 June 2011 19:03

Your place must be on the way to someone he loves :'(

FlexT 1

Thursday 2 June 2011 22:53

Her dad DID give a shit.

Comments

StaRRrRr 0

Friday 3 June 2011 8:49

at least, you got to see your dad

Impulseforyou 6

Saturday 4 June 2011 0:56

What an ass. FYL

SpazzyJazzy325 0

Saturday 4 June 2011 5:27

Do we have the same father? O_o

Biwy2 0

Sunday 5 June 2011 4:26

bewbz

mtndewninja 0

Wednesday 8 June 2011 6:10

sounds like a shitty time ;)

rockandrollah 1

Monday 1 August 2011 11:14

Sorry man, really am. But I totally loled my ass of over this one.

Jenmic 16

Thursday 9 February 2012 7:09

Sounds like something my Dad would do.

manaallovesfmls 19

Sunday 21 October 2012 21:32

At least he didn't clog the toilet...

popo6484 3

Tuesday 18 December 2012 4:41

Atleast your dad gave a shit about you

Larco_fml 3

Friday 15 August 2014 4:27

Maybe his stomach was upset, possibly from nerves?

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Awkward Pokémon Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, I was feeling confident, so I rented a cabana at the beach and put on my best swimsuit. I was at the bar when suddenly the stool gave way under me. I was drenched in Mojito and a bunch of spring breakers laughed at me, making fat jokes. I spent the rest of the day crying in the cabana. FML

agreeclassic 1 513

vote type 1 208

Today, I called up the boy I like to ask him on a date. He said "Haha, thats a pretty good impression Chris. Next time pick someone less ugly and maybe I'd think this is real." He thought I was his friend prank calling him. FML

agreeclassic 90 470

vote type 1 4 992

Today, I called my boyfriend to let him know that after he gets off work, he can find me in his room wearing something sexy. He responded with, "Please don't touch anything." FML

agreeclassic 35 911

vote type 1 5 480

Today, I rushed my dog to the vet because he was foaming at the mouth. I returned home with a bill for $200 and a dog who apparently has a thing for marshmallows. FML

agreeclassic 34 726

vote type 1 6 412

Today, I had to call my mom and tell her about the insurance claim that is going to be coming through in the next couple of weeks. I spent the night in the hospital. I'm allergic to lube. FML

agreeclassic 56 375

vote type 1 7 812

Today, I found out my ex-boyfriend's band has become quite popular on YouTube. My friends and sister won't stop singing their songs. Most of them were written after I dumped him, and go on to say how much better off he is without me and how horrible I am. FML

agreeclassic 35 404

vote type 1 23 577