Miscellaneous Today, my brother offered me $20 to practice his kissing on me...

SisterOfTard - 10/11/2014 16:31 - United States - Florence

Today, my brother offered me $20 to practice his kissing on me for his date later this evening. FML

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Carnival of Disasters
Dive into carnival, where hilarious costumes meet unexpected mishaps. Laughter is guaranteed, mask or no mask! …

doesn't fuck on the first, thank god - 23/03/2014 20:25 - United Kingdom - Southend-on-sea

Today, my brother tried to pay me to teach him how to French-kiss, so he wouldn't screw up on his first date. I'm shocked that the weirdo managed to get a date in the first place. FML

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Kelly - 02/08/2012 08:11 - United States - Manteca

Today, my brother offered my boyfriend $50 to dump me. Guess who's single. FML

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Flip - 02/05/2012 05:06 - France

Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML

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Don't hate the player…

Jpaylay - 12/08/2021 14:00 - United States - Lakeland

Today, my brother bamboozled me out of 20$. He's 12 years-old, and I'm 17. FML

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Driver 8

_guy_j - - United States - Glendora

Today, my brother got a job as an Uber driver. Now, whenever I need a ride from him, he insists I pay him money through the app. FML

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Mixed signals

max - 07/02/2009 23:33 - United States

Today, I thought I was going on a date. About 20 minutes into it, after giving her my arm to hold (like a true gentleman) it came up in conversation that my brother is gay. Her response: "Oh, so both you and your brother are gay?" FML

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Breakout

liisiuu - 13/07/2017 05:00

Today, I went on a date with a guy who turned out to be my older brother's friend. In the middle of the night we were drunk and got stuck in my room after the key broke inside the lock. My brother had to help my date climb out of the window. FML

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The hustler

- 23/11/2019 01:00

Today, my boyfriend of six months, who happened to be my first kiss, broke up with me after borrowing 120 dollars. Not twenty minutes later, he was at the bar drinking with my brothers and my dad. FML

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Classy.

klifestyle2012 - 12/11/2017 19:00

Today, I came home to find my brother making out with my girlfriend while taking a selfie. FML

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Anonymous - 20/09/2013 21:00 - Hungary - Szeged

Today, my girlfriend came over to visit me and my brother at our apartment. I left for just five minutes to fix us lunch. When I got back, she was making out with my brother. FML

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Rainbow_dumpster 28

Monday 10 November 2014 23:46

Eeeewwwwwwwww

rachelottavia 16

Monday 10 November 2014 23:46

I hope you didn't say yes!

CydH 8

Tuesday 11 November 2014 0:16

That's gross

soulreaper12296 28

Tuesday 11 November 2014 0:18

Hopefully you said no

tbone5466 9

Tuesday 11 November 2014 0:25

poor Guy didn't know any better haha

sydneysays 15

Tuesday 11 November 2014 0:29

Oh..gross..

iwadasn 32

Tuesday 11 November 2014 0:47

Kentucky. Of course.

sophienzstein 12

Tuesday 11 November 2014 0:48

You should have taken his money and punched him the mouth. Show him some real brotherly love

gf53 9

Tuesday 11 November 2014 2:33

My thoughts exactly! That should (in theory) teach him to think about what he's saying.

Zebediabolical 41

Tuesday 11 November 2014 0:52

...So how did you spend it?

lj19717 19

Tuesday 11 November 2014 1:00

Wait, people aren't suppose to practice kissing with their siblings? My life has been a lie.

RA91 26

Tuesday 11 November 2014 1:01

Wow, I've heard of people stooping low...but this is a new low.

i_needa_username 17

Tuesday 11 November 2014 1:01

Ew please tell me you said NO

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my car got stuck in a foot of snow. I tried desperately digging around my wheels to see if it would help. I was finally able to get out 10 minutes later only to realize that I had dropped my phone in the snow while I was digging and had run over it. FML

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Today, I was once again woken up to my dad blasting The Beatles' song "Birthday." He does this whenever it's anyone's birthday (in this case, my mom's) and he knows a lot of people. It was funny at first, but now it's getting old very quickly. FML

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Today, I became the town racist for saying "black" instead of "African-American". I'm black. FML

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Today, I asked my dad to please shave his awful beard, because I'm a laughing-stock at school for being picked up each day by a guy whose face looks like Bigfoot's ass. He agreed, and 10 minutes later was sporting a pedo-stache. It's going to be a long year. FML

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Today, I found out the job temp agency that got me my new job still hasn't setup my orientation from two weeks ago. When I called the actual job to speak to the supervisor, they told me they had never heard of me. I turned down two other job offers, paying slightly better, because this was my dream job getting into healthcare. FML

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Today, my parents told me that from now on I have to share a room with my 9-year-old sister. She already called top bunk. I'm 20. FML

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