Animals: Today, it's my birthday. My mom decided to wake me up by having...

By birthdayfun - 23/03/2009 22:46 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My mom decided to wake me up by having our new, previously stray, cat thrown on top of me. I was awoken to two claws ripping across my face which needed 16 stitches to fix. Happy Birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 501

You deserved it 39

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Top comments

0___0 9

Tuesday 24 March 2009 9:07

Was it your 16th birthday at least? D:

uhnonnuhmus 0

Tuesday 24 March 2009 10:26

To get revenge, just throw the stray cat into the shower with your mom someday. Then run like hell.

Comments

yaknowiverse 0

Saturday 20 August 2011 20:42

that stinks. I'm sorry about your face getting scratched

Scarlettx7 0

Friday 9 December 2011 4:31

She's slow

Dianaax33 9

Sunday 11 December 2011 13:52

Your mother is a bitch. Happy Birthday!

eatsleepjb 8

Tuesday 20 December 2011 23:44

Your mom needs help

xxDefiantxx 0

Sunday 5 February 2012 15:53

Make up some bullshit story of how a man attacked you thoth a knie ;)

katiedoll6 7

Saturday 31 March 2012 1:22

Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to you Happy birthday Happy birthday Happy birthday to you ???????????????

ChrisHex 6

Sunday 20 May 2012 5:09

seems like your mom isn't the smartest knife in the crayon box...

kayrachelle17 3

Wednesday 19 September 2012 7:18

I love dogs!

paprika_pilipili_fml 14

Friday 15 February 2013 23:28

I hate cats. They leave hairs and puke all over the place.

Kenton1008 21

Monday 25 March 2013 1:59

So do dogs, genius.

happyfingers 15

Thursday 3 October 2013 21:03

Who throws a cat at people?! The nails.... Owww, the nails.....

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my mom asked my siblings and me for help cleaning the kitchen. After working for a half hour while all my siblings sat on the couch, I pointed out that I was the only one working. My mom thanked my siblings for not having attitudes like mine and sent me to my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 465

You deserved it 3 212

Today, I came home for lunch. I saw a sandwich on the table with a note saying, "I hope we can have a healthy new relationship, Love, Carissa." I saw another note from my girlfriend next to it saying, "I hope you enjoy your new relationship with Carissa." Carissa is my new step-mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 197

You deserved it 2 791

Today, I was half paying attention to a text message conversation with someone about how addicted we both were to social media. It's wasn't until deep into the conversation that I realized we were actually talking about porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 968

You deserved it 1 177

Today, while getting intimate with my boyfriend, he started sucking on my breast. He ended up popping a pimple on it into his mouth. He threw up and that, as they say, was the end of that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 345

You deserved it 19 300

Today, it was the second anniversary of the day I met my girlfriend. I had to go to work, but I set an engagement ring and a letter on my pillow for when she woke up, and left breakfast for her on the counter. When I got home, she and all of her things were gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 972

You deserved it 9 510

Today, I was out enjoying my daily jog, when out of nowhere, a group of kids in a passing car pelted me with ketchup-filled water balloons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 079

You deserved it 4 279