Money: Today, in the current company I'm employed by, I have a better...

By ferret702 - 05/02/2016 12:04 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, in the current company I'm employed by, I have a better chance at gambling my way to the top, as opposed to working my way up. FML

agreeclassic 19 171

vote type 1 1 816

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
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By RePete - 04/11/2016 01:44

Today, thanks to downsizing and corporate restructuring, I was "promoted" to the entry level position I had 10 years ago. FML

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By Anonymous - 04/04/2015 12:42 - United States - Clifton Park

Today, I was forced into accepting a "promotion" for a position that pays less than what I get right now. FML

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By Anonymous - 25/08/2015 05:51 - United States - Waco

Today, after putting in 110% at my shitty job for two years straight, my boss told me point-blank I'm too good in my current position for him to ever be able to justify promoting me. FML

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Thanks, I guess…

By smyp - this FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Lithuania - Vilnius

Today, I was let go from my job, because I'm "progressing too quickly and there's no promotions available" and I "can find a better place to work at." FML

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By anon_smh - 18/02/2016 04:37 - United States - Bozeman

Today, after interviewing for a promotion to a position that was created with me in mind, I eagerly accepted a call from my boss, expecting good news. Turns out, they found a better applicant, who they don't believe will need support from the position I currently hold, so it's being eliminated. FML

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The Dilbert Principle

By Anonymous - 14/06/2017 16:00

Today, my boss called me into his office. I've been working hard doing extra work so I can get promoted. He called me in to tell me I'm to reliable in my current position, so I won't be moving up. FML

agreeclassic 4 364

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By David - 02/09/2016 06:01 - United States - London

Today, my boss found out I had applied for a much better paying job. He told me I'd do a better job and make more money there. Then he fired me. FML

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Too good

By hard work doesn't work - 13/03/2015 06:21 - United States - Irving

Today, I found out that the reason I didn't get the job that I have been working my butt off for over a year for is because they can't find anybody who can do my current job as good as me. I'm too good to be promoted. FML

agreeclassic 38 447

vote type 1 3 032

Seize the means of production

By vikts - 29/05/2012 17:52 - Luxembourg - Olm

Today, I discovered that as thanks for my successful efforts to increase my company's monthly revenue, my dumbass of a boss has been awarded a pay bonus. He's wasted no time telling everyone about the sports car he's planning to buy with it. FML

agreeclassic 23 360

vote type 1 1 961

By Anonymous - 01/01/2009 18:21 - France

Today, my boss got a promotion and I got laid off. FML

agreeclassic 24 969

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Welshite 39

Friday 5 February 2016 20:24

You'd better start learning how to count cards.

haileyrows 26

Friday 5 February 2016 20:26

Or you could take the third option and sleep your way to the top.

Comments

EarlFug 19

Saturday 6 February 2016 2:41

You're certainly not going to grammar your way to the top

mattyiscool123 26

Saturday 6 February 2016 3:43

Nevada, cool

idk_rose 25

Sunday 7 February 2016 5:15

Count your cards.

am1717 22

Sunday 7 February 2016 17:38

I'd like to know more details about the circumstances of this job

ohSNAPyall 26

Tuesday 9 February 2016 7:12

Perhaps some sort of gambling facility in Nevada.

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Today, I was forced to listen and politely nod with a smile on my face, as my boss droned on and on, explaining that everything in the universe is slowly getting bigger, aside from him, because he's never felt so short before. FML

agreeclassic 21 599

vote type 1 2 328

Today, my long-term partner and I decided we still love each other and want to try to salvage our relationship. Also today, a long-lost crush reconnected with me out of nowhere. The chemistry between us is insane and I can't stop thinking about him. Maybe it's a sign? FML

agreeclassic 438

vote type 1 1 295

Today, I was told by a family member that if we come over on Christmas and my small children get upset or throw a fit, we will be asked to leave. I can't guarantee that my 2-year-old and 3-year-old won't have any meltdowns, so I guess we won't be spending Christmas with the rest of the family. FML

agreeclassic 8 938

vote type 1 1 789

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep during phone sex. FML

agreeclassic 23 392

vote type 1 28 361

Today, I saw some reddish-colored stuff on my finger after wiping my face. I thought it was blood at first, so I smelled it, then licked it, I don't know why the fuck I did that but anyways, I later realized I'd wiped off some of my eyeshadow and frickin ate it. FML

agreeclassic 269

vote type 1 1 240

Today, my proposal to my girlfriend was supposed to be exactly when the ball dropped at midnight. Unfortunately my mother called her at 11:55pm to ask her if she liked the ring. FML

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vote type 1 3 759