Kids: Today, in a desperate bid to avoid going to the doctor, my young...

By Chandler - 16/09/2011 19:26 - United States

Today, in a desperate bid to avoid going to the doctor, my young son ran into and hid inside a cactus garden. I had to drag him out. FML

agreeclassic 26 871

vote type 1 2 945

End-of-year festivities: New Year's Eve fun and frolics
End the year on a high note with anecdotes where every New Year's Eve firecracker is synonymous with laughter! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

By derped-out sperm - 01/04/2014 21:41 - Ireland

Today, I had to rush my 14-year-old son to the hospital after he fell out of a tree while trying to take an obnoxious "extreme selfie". FML

agreeclassic 49 113

vote type 1 5 947

It hurts when I pee

By yomamma787 - 24/11/2009 17:11 - United States

Today, I was outside, peeing on a cactus. Then all of a sudden my dog jumped on my back, knocking me into the cactus. FML

agreeclassic 14 906

vote type 1 54 469

By Anonymous - 31/08/2014 17:51 - United States

Today, I was hiking down a steep hill, and I slipped. I instinctively grabbed the nearest object to me: a very prickly cactus. FML

agreeclassic 39 527

vote type 1 3 877

By thanksdad - 16/03/2014 19:28 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I found out what it feels like to be slapped in the face with a potted cactus. FML

agreeclassic 46 833

vote type 1 6 297

By Anonymous - 29/02/2012 16:52 - United States

Today, I rescued a cactus from a lethal fall. It thanked me with a handful of spines. FML

agreeclassic 10 416

vote type 1 33 019

By MrsRODixon - 05/03/2015 12:38 - United Kingdom - Pencoed

Today, I received an urgent call from my son's nursery asking me to collect him, saying he was, "lethargic, complaining about being ill and crying". I get there and he's running around, playing and admits he just wanted to come home. They still made me take him home. FML

agreeclassic 31 876

vote type 1 2 843

By Broderick - 26/03/2011 06:32 - United States

Today, I was hiking, and four miles away from my car and civilization, I tripped over a rock into a cactus. I used duct tape, which ripped all the hair off my arms and legs but ignored the spikes. FML

agreeclassic 30 095

vote type 1 6 964

Blind rage

By prickly - 11/10/2009 16:48 - United States

Today, my wife got the flu. While she was sleeping, I went out to buy her some soup and other things. When I was walking back through the door, she woke up, thought I was a burglar, and threw the closest thing to her at me. What was it? A cactus. FML

agreeclassic 43 067

vote type 1 2 865

Lost the fight

By Anonymous - 24/12/2014 14:43 - United States - Herndon

Today, I found a hornet's nest in the backyard, so I called my brother over to take a look. He said "Hmm, wonder how fast you can run…" then hurled a rock at the nest and sprinted back to the house. I wasn't so fast. I now feel like someone's beaten me half to death with a cactus. FML

agreeclassic 37 197

vote type 1 3 986

Shout the victory

By dogpatch087 - 02/01/2020 03:00 - United States - Ventura

Today, while climbing a mountain, I got to the top and then put both of my arms up in a victory kind of way only to trip on a rock and fall into a cactus plant. FML

agreeclassic 1 798

vote type 1 509

perdix 29

Saturday 17 September 2011 1:17

What a prick!

futtbuck101 1

Saturday 17 September 2011 1:14

F your sons life.

Comments

hoonyer 17

Tuesday 20 September 2011 21:44

he's in it to win it

itswhateveridk 0

Saturday 1 October 2011 2:25

YouWhat the **** is a damn cactus garden and if it is literally what u make it out to be who the **** would plant a garden of cactuses

4ugu4 7

Monday 10 October 2011 6:45

Well the kids got a "point" there, who likes visiting the doctor?

crchara 3

Tuesday 17 January 2012 17:20

why do you have a cactus garden..?

smlrockslol 4

Thursday 5 July 2012 21:07

Sounds like something I would do:)

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, I was on the toilet and jumped when I saw a face at the window. It was my own reflection. FML

agreeclassic 1 476

vote type 1 786

Today, I sneezed so hard I fell down the stairs. FML

agreeclassic 35 310

vote type 1 7 782

Today, I was in the shower and I heard my boyfriend walk in. I struck my sexiest pose and when he came in, he looked me up and down and told me, "You look like my mother." Thanks. FML

agreeclassic 36 715

vote type 1 5 643

Today, I got a ticket for driving on the wrong side of the road. It was a one-way street. FML

agreeclassic 1 199

vote type 1 370

Today, I went to the gym to try to get into shape. While I was running on the treadmill, my beer belly pushed against the emergency stop button, twice. FML

agreeclassic 28 520

vote type 1 5 575

Today, I went to the local street fair and ran into my boyfriend of five years. He was with his girlfriend of ten years. We both had no idea about each other. His family knew we both existed, and never said a word. FML

agreeclassic 1 639

vote type 1 143