Alcohol, Drunk, Weird and Parents: Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom, only to find my dad...

By :// - 05/11/2013 21:01 - United States - Romulus

Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom, only to find my dad sitting on the toilet, blind drunk. He screamed "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" at me. I just wanted to shave. FML

agreeclassic 42 774

vote type 1 3 760

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By Anonymous - 11/11/2014 18:56 - United States - Dekalb

Today, I walked into my bathroom, only to find my dad passed out on the floor with his pants around his ankles. FML

agreeclassic 35 113

vote type 1 3 064

Night terrors

By Anonymous - 12/07/2020 17:01

Today, I woke up at night to go to the toilet. My Dad was doing his thing with the toilet door wide open. I saw, screamed at the top of my lungs and peed my pants in horror. Now my throat hurts and I'm too embarrassed to look at him. FML

agreeclassic 1 388

vote type 1 555

By obtuse_ballsack - 04/06/2012 20:37 - Croatia - Zagreb

Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML

agreeclassic 26 754

vote type 1 2 764

By mikey51 - 10/03/2012 01:56 - Australia

Today, I was taking a dump, when my dad shouted for me to go wash the dishes. Fed up with his constant shit, I told him to bite me. He took this as an invitation to wedge the bathroom door shut for nearly two hours, despite all my pleas and apologies. FML

agreeclassic 10 650

vote type 1 41 613

Skittish

By Anonymous - 18/07/2023 22:00 - Netherlands - Hardenberg

Today, my dad came home and wanted to grab a glass. It wasn't in direct sight so he slammed the cupboard door so hard, I peed my pants. FML

agreeclassic 613

vote type 1 190

By Anonymous - 13/03/2010 09:17 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, when I needed the loo. The door was ajar, so I walked into his bathroom, sat down, and started to pee. I then looked up to see the shocked face of his dad sitting naked in the bath. FML

agreeclassic 31 801

vote type 1 10 109

By Deadman - 02/04/2012 13:37 - United States

Today, my dad came home drunk at four in the morning. He walked into my room, screaming at me to wake up so he can kill zombies. FML

agreeclassic 25 911

vote type 1 2 536

Anger management

By FML - 08/12/2013 18:00 - Puerto Rico - Cayey

Today, my dad came home drunk off his ass. So drunk that he couldn't manage to open the refrigerator, and ended up punching it in a fit of rage. When I tried to calm him down and get him to bed, he told me to fuck off, and grounded me. FML

agreeclassic 40 688

vote type 1 3 400

By mydadsawsooomuch - 17/11/2010 13:26 - United States

Today, in the wee hours of the morning I decided to make a naked dash to the bathroom, unfortunately, my dad decided to do the same thing at the exact same time. FML

agreeclassic 41 176

vote type 1 9 834

By IAmACoolCat - 05/07/2011 16:41 - United States

Today, I found my dad using my bathroom. Why? Because he "had to take a crap" and didn't want to stink up his own bathroom. FML

agreeclassic 35 551

vote type 1 4 968

Welshite 39

Tuesday 5 November 2013 23:16

That's when you push him off the toilet and scream"Gandalf!" Trust me, he won't be mad or anything.

kimblie 15

Tuesday 5 November 2013 23:17

at least he's an amusing drunk?

Comments

riashah 14

Wednesday 6 November 2013 4:37

Drunk dads are awesome !!!

hurley12 30

Wednesday 6 November 2013 4:41

YDI because it's no shave November. Just kidding!

stillrob97 3

Wednesday 6 November 2013 5:09

What I want to know is how is op's toilet related to op shaving?

Odis12 11

Wednesday 6 November 2013 5:23

Who wants to shave?

xRezSynn 15

Wednesday 6 November 2013 5:40

Just grab the shaver and leave

skittyskatbrat 19

Wednesday 6 November 2013 7:13

Times like this are why Facebook and Cameras are a wonderful idea.

worldclassrager 39

Wednesday 6 November 2013 7:52

Well did you look like a hobbit or something with your beard? Then that would make more sense...

nmrg 10

Wednesday 6 November 2013 8:40

Fool of a Took!

Demonbart 8

Wednesday 6 November 2013 9:22

YDI. It's Movember, you shouldn't be shaving.

bigNaKeD 9

Wednesday 6 November 2013 11:15

Your dad is awesome

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Today, I went to my guidance counselor and told her how I'd been fascinated with space since I was 12, had read about the universe and everything, and how I want to be an astrologist when I grow up. She stared at me for a second, before saying, "But you're... stupid." FML

agreeclassic 71 332

vote type 1 18 090

Today, I found my brother wearing nothing but underwear. That would have been okay if it weren't my lingerie. FML

agreeclassic 45 778

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Today, my mom is becoming a Wiccan, at least that’s the lie I told the neighbours when they demanded to know why my mom was smoking weed naked, waving charms around, and dancing amongst our trees. I actually have no idea what she was doing, and when she sobered up, she had no idea why she did it either. FML

agreeclassic 1 009

vote type 1 108

Today, the man who has been my stepfather for six years, has forgotten how old I am. However, he remembers exactly how much my real father owes him for child support. FML

agreeclassic 30 642

vote type 1 2 872

Today, I finally handed my girlfriend a portrait of her. I'm not the best drawer, but I spent weeks on it and I thought it turned out pretty good. When she looked at it, she asked what kind of dog was it. FML

agreeclassic 46 864

vote type 1 5 544

Today, I went to the hospital to visit my grandfather. That's where I tripped over a loose cord in the hallway, resulting in a fractured elbow. I ended up in the emergency room and didn't even get to see my grandfather. FML

agreeclassic 4 206

vote type 1 324

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