Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up and switched on the TV. The first thing I saw...

By mehdi - 13/10/2008 08:20

Today, I woke up and switched on the TV. The first thing I saw was a picture of a wanted rapist, who looks just like me. I'm afraid to leave home. FML

agreeclassic 327 496

vote type 1 33 846

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By haunted - 24/11/2011 20:30 - United Kingdom

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By i stole your daughter's virginity anyways!! - 23/05/2017 00:00

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. I recognized him. He's the guy that broke into my car and stole my backpack two weeks ago. FML

agreeclassic 6 016

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Nsc 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 5:11

You should go outside in a ski mask, then. That's not nearly as suspicious.

Aviva1313 0

Thursday 26 February 2009 14:53

Have you been having blackouts?

Comments

somethingawesome 9

Tuesday 26 May 2009 2:36

You poor, poor rapist look-alike. :(

nevergoneforever 0

Friday 5 June 2009 4:14

That seriously seriously sucks... sorry man.

ShadowSEAL 0

Friday 5 June 2009 6:56

Haha! Sucks for you!

jordy12198 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 14:56

suckish

thecheerfulcynic 0

Monday 8 June 2009 2:16

...

thecheerfulcynic 0

Monday 8 June 2009 2:16

oh geez. at least you have a valid reason to skip work that day?

Alotamilkshakes 0

Monday 8 June 2009 20:21

think of what wouldve happened if you DIDNT watch the news that morning

irrelevantxx 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 1:59

Well was it you? :D You little rapist, you.

TheButler 0

Wednesday 4 November 2009 17:05

dude wtf xD haha

prospekt1 0

Tuesday 23 June 2009 7:04

maybe its like yhe movir fight club and he is bipolar imsomnic

werewolf_13 0

Wednesday 24 June 2009 1:53

lolz, diis iiz lke sad.

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, my girlfriend dumped me for another guy by text. I felt so betrayed, I stupidly tried to hurt her by replying that I'd been cheating on her all along with a hot babe. Turned out the dumping text was actually a prank by her friend. Now I'm single and everyone thinks I'm a cheater. FML

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Today, my wife and I were born on the same day, married on our birthday date. Today is our birthday and anniversary, and today we are getting divorced. FML

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Today, my girlfriend broke up with me for a familiar reason; I apparently have night terrors that make me "Impossible to sleep in the same room with." I don't ever remember these dreams. Every other girlfriend I've had has ended up breaking things off with me for the same reason. FML

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Today, I went to the mall to pick up the 1 carat diamond my husband recently purchased for me after 6 years of being together. My mom called, I answered my cell. Later, I realized that the baggie with the diamond was no longer in my pocket. It fell out when I answered my phone. FML

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I just have one of those faces

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