Transportation: Today, I was woken up by a loud noise, which I thought was an...

By Anonymous - 04/08/2009 00:25 - United States

Today, I was woken up by a loud noise, which I thought was an earthquake. It sounded like a car had driven right into my living room. Which was exactly what it was. FML

agreeclassic 61 325

vote type 1 2 693

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By Jo - 26/10/2009 03:14 - United States

Today, there was an earthquake. Good news: the only damage was a tree fell on some loser's car. Bad news: that loser was me. FML

agreeclassic 33 941

vote type 1 3 072

By Nighty-nitrogen - 10/05/2016 00:07 - United States - Hollywood

Today, I was trying to sleep, when I felt someone rattling my bed from underneath. Petrified from shock, I lied there for what felt like hours, waiting for a murderer to spring out. I must've finally fallen asleep, and when I woke up in the morning, I found out it was a minor earthquake. FML

agreeclassic 11 532

vote type 1 1 877

By esoog - 19/05/2011 17:38 - United States

Today, I woke up in a panic to what sounded like a plane about to crash into my house. I was so scared, I peed myself and passed out. It was just my cell phone vibrating under my pillow. FML

agreeclassic 15 533

vote type 1 48 425

By Anonymous - 03/01/2012 03:47 - United States

Today, I tried exercising. My whole house shook. FML

agreeclassic 29 569

vote type 1 14 242

Home Improvement

By Anonymous - 12/12/2020 23:01 - United States - Wilmington

Today, I heard what sounded like an explosion from the basement of my house. Turns out my foundation cracked. FML

agreeclassic 1 028

vote type 1 62

By Noname - 13/03/2009 03:42 - United States

Today, I woke up to find my car broken into. After being upset for not hearing my car alarm go off I realized it had in the middle of the night. I had woken up and cursed the idiot who set off their alarm and put a pillow over my head, falling back to sleep shortly after. FML

agreeclassic 16 793

vote type 1 54 257

By Unhappymothersday - 17/05/2012 20:41 - United States - Raleigh

Today, I woke up to the sound of my car being stolen. FML

agreeclassic 28 536

vote type 1 2 179

By Anonymous - 05/08/2010 20:30 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of something hitting my bedroom wall outside. I could see my boyfriend's car from the window, so I assumed he was throwing pebbles to get my attention. I opened the window and an egg flew in. FML

agreeclassic 34 569

vote type 1 4 556

By Jaybird1587 - 03/08/2009 12:43 - United States

Today, I was just about to get in the shower, when I heard a loud crunch. I thought to myself, boy the neighbours next door must be doing some heavy construction. Two seconds after that thought, my brother knocked on the door to inform me that the neighbours tree had just fallen on my car. FML

agreeclassic 51 023

vote type 1 2 504

Doomsday

By Alberto - 07/10/2022 10:30

Today, I had to wake up my mother as the earthquake alarm rang in my country. This is the second quake in less than a week. FML

agreeclassic 1 937

vote type 1 176

softbonez 0

Tuesday 4 August 2009 9:23

Nobody deserves this.

liindsey 25

Tuesday 4 August 2009 9:16

This reminds me of Family Guy. Exactly.

Comments

astriofou 0

Friday 22 April 2011 10:28

Yay earthquake! X3

litingphires 7

Sunday 24 July 2011 2:10

how the f does this person deserve this you a-holes

kaiena347 0

Thursday 26 January 2012 5:28

drinking & driving..

hiwazup_24 4

Friday 4 October 2013 2:01

Oh yea sorry bout that

userguydude 4

Thursday 16 April 2015 6:14

ydi for living in the city jk

Mamba8460 6

Thursday 2 June 2016 16:15

I'm guessing an ex.

prettygurl89 16

Monday 26 September 2016 7:48

That's happened to us before! Scary shit, glad you're okay!

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Today, my wife and I watched a documentary film about a kid living with severe asthma. In one scene, the kid has a severe asthma attack, and is rushed to hospital. My wife started laughing hysterically at this and after apologising, says "It's just he sounded exactly like you in bed." FML

agreeclassic 70 785

vote type 1 8 001

Today, my date decided not to have sex with me after she saw I wear Y-fronts, Tighty Whities to some of you, instead of boxers, so she couldn’t take me seriously as a grown man wearing underwear normally worn by children under 10 years-old. FML

agreeclassic 1 265

vote type 1 2 808

Today, I went to the toilet during drama class, not because I had to actually go, but because I wanted to play Monopoly on my iPod. I lost track of time and came back twenty minutes later. My whole class listened while I was forced to tell my teacher I'd been really constipated. FML

agreeclassic 9 898

vote type 1 47 648

Today, I was walking around in the mall when I dropped my purse. When I bent down to pick it up, some guy came up behind me, humped my ass, then ran away laughing. FML

agreeclassic 64 929

vote type 1 13 395

Today, once again I tried to convince my dad to stop smoking. And once again, while I was speaking, he lit up a cigarette and smoked until my asthma flared up and I was wheezing so hard that I had to leave the room. FML

agreeclassic 37 793

vote type 1 4 162

Today, I got my septum piercing stuck in a bag of cinnamon pine cones at Target. My boyfriend was wearing a red shirt with khaki pants, so all the other shoppers probably thought I'd had to call a Target employee over to "cut" me out of the bag. FML

agreeclassic 2 755

vote type 1 1 577

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