Miscellaneous: Today, I was so drunk that I forgot how to use the key to my... - FML

By nomorealcoholeva - 14/03/2015 16:52 - Norway - Bod?

Today, I was so drunk that I forgot how to use the key to my front door. But I knew how to break a window, get into my locked basement, and unlock the basement door with my front door's key. FML

agreeclassic 25 264

vote type 1 17 033

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nomorealcoholeva 9

Sunday 15 March 2015 19:45

Followup for asked questions! I found my phone, wallet and lipstick in the Mailbox. I am 97% sure i smashed the window with the heel of my shoes. And i live alone, so the only explaining i have to do is to my landlord, Jesus, i do not look forward to that. And yes. I am a 22year old girl. Boom

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TOP COMMENTS

rebelbelle 17

Sunday 15 March 2015 12:02

sounds like drunk you is pretty smart

logic368 8

Sunday 15 March 2015 23:30

Your landlord is Jesus? Sounds like all you can do is pray...

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wrenavery90 12

Monday 23 May 2022 3:16

I'm curious as to how drunk you got home. Did you drive?

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Today, at my girlfriend's place, I cleaned up her room, put candles everywhere, scented the air, and placed rose petals all over her bed in an attempt to be romantic and loving. The first thing she said when she saw all this was, "Uhhhhgg, I'll have to clean all this up." FML

agreeclassic 45 394

vote type 1 5 499

Today, I confessed to my boyfriend that I think I'm average looking. He told me that it was OK, unless he wakes up tomorrow with some standards, I'm good enough. FML

agreeclassic 1 808

vote type 1 449

Today, it's my birthday, the first one in my college life. No one knew, and no one wished me. It’s fine, I guess. But as I sat alone in my room, I could hear laughter and cheers from hall they were celebrating someone else’s birthday. I tried not to care, but deep down, I felt little envious, and a little lonely. FML

agreeclassic 326

vote type 1 371

Today, I was at the gym, feeling pretty proud of myself for working out consistently for the past month. As I was about to grab a towel, I tripped and landed face-first into a pile of gym mats. People turned to look, and all I could do was try to laugh it off through the pain of what turned out to be a sprained ankle. FML

agreeclassic 421

vote type 1 103

Today, I was video chatting with my boyfriend and his friends. When I stood up, he told his friend "See, she's not a twig!" I jokingly replied with, "So I'm fat?" After a few seconds of silence, his friend yelled, "It's a trap!" and left the chat. FML

agreeclassic 48 851

vote type 1 15 534

Today, I saw a cockroach on the ceiling. Immediately I got a stick to smack it down. When I hit it, it fell and landed in my mouth. Karma much? FML

agreeclassic 41 335

vote type 1 16 759