Health: Today, I was quite drunk so I decided to take a piss kneeling...

At least you tried OP! Many people would've just pissed everywhere. Hope you feel better soon, hopefully the alcohol blocked out some of the worst pain..

Zebediabolical 40

Monday 25 November 2013 20:23

mis-post

crackpotL 33

Monday 25 November 2013 20:36

I bet that made you miss a lot more.

ZY1431 24

Monday 25 November 2013 20:41

yea I did that once. never again hah.

UsernameTaken14 18

Monday 25 November 2013 20:43

Please don't call it a "soldier"... OMG

cheshirecat13242 32

Monday 25 November 2013 20:45

That's one of the hazards of pissing while piss drunk. Call it collateral damage & get another drink :-D

4x4kid 7

Monday 25 November 2013 20:52

somebody call the wahbalance

Folly_fml 12

Monday 25 November 2013 21:04

No soldier left behind.

sexysaltshaker 11

Monday 25 November 2013 21:11

Little indeed.

renjisgirl12 22

Monday 25 November 2013 21:23

Points for trying!!

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on my phone. One of my co-workers came in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn my phone's sound off. She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 930

You deserved it 7 119

Today, I opened the door to a pizza delivery guy. I hadn't order any, but I thought maybe my roommate had. As he handed me the box, I said, "Thanks, you too" when he told me to enjoy my meal. He stopped, looked confused, and said, "Wait, what?" before leaving. I then realized my roommate was out of town and I’d just taken someone else’s pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 127

You deserved it 389

Today, my parents think the only reason I'm gay is because I have a curse that makes me attracted to women, and I'm actually straight. At this point, even my older sisters believe it, which is crazy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 070

You deserved it 154

Today, I travelled across an ocean to visit the guy I'm dating. He lied to me about his apartment; he lives in a dorm with a twin-sized bed and a bathroom he shares with eight guys. Just now, after taking three trains from the airport to his "apt", he asked me to edit his essay while he goes to class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 999

You deserved it 8 601

Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was really trying to give me back my keys that I'd dropped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 362

You deserved it 823

Today, I have to get up at 6 a.m. each day to make it to a class at 8 because of commuter traffic. The college has decided to eliminate an entire parking lot right next to the building where my class takes place, to build a parking garage, which will take 2 years. The only open parking is a field clear across the campus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 133