Intimacy: Today, I was out eating lunch with my parents when my mom complained...

By Username - 29/10/2010 23:15 - France

Today, I was out eating lunch with my parents when my mom complained that I eat too quickly and don't thoroughly chew my food. My dad exclaimed, "That's because she swallows!" FML

agreeclassic 34 711

vote type 1 5 901

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By unwanted daughter - 02/07/2014 15:54 - Canada - Oliver

Today, I overheard my mother talking to her friend, and using me as an example of how it's sometimes best to swallow. FML

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By SMS123 - 25/06/2010 19:42 - United States

Today, I was eating lunch with my boyfriend when I started choking. My boyfriend took it as an opportunity to sneak food off my plate. FML

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Today, I went out on a date with a cute girl. Everything was going great, until the food arrived. She not only shoveled food into her mouth like it was going to run away, she also smacked, sucked her fingers and laughed out loud with her mouth completely full. It was like dining with a 5-year-old. FML

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By OhMeGerd - 05/10/2012 14:56 - United States - Scottsdale

Today, I was invited to my boyfriend's house for dinner for the first time. His mom made a fantastic dinner, so I showed my appreciation by eating the lot. Apparently I was overdoing it because when I looked up everyone was staring. His dad muttered, "Slow the hell down." FML

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Attention!

By choker - 14/03/2009 04:13 - United States

Today, I went to Walmart with my mom. At the checkout line I was eating a bag of chips as my mom bought her stuff. I inhaled while eating and I started to choke. The cashier asked me if I was OK. My mom just waved her hand, and said, "Sometimes she does that for attention, ignore her." FML

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By anonymous - 23/03/2009 19:22 - United States

Today, I was having lunch with my sister and my mother. While my mom was busy ordering food, my sister said to me, "Look at this!" then contorted her face so that she had a double chin. My mother looked over and said to her, "Stop making fun of your sister!" FML

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By Anonymous - 13/01/2012 00:59 - United States

Today, my mother called me a "wasteful child" because I threw up my lunch. FML

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Double entendre

By mel - 11/05/2012 21:23 - United Kingdom - Bournemouth

Today, while in the break room at work, I laughed at a co-worker's joke and started choking on my drink. My boss exclaimed in front of everyone, "We need to teach this girl how to swallow!" to everyone's childish amusement. Now they won't stop calling me Spit. FML

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By hungry - 12/02/2009 00:06 - United States

Today, my mom asked me if I had an eating problem because I've been eating less. I only started eating less because she told me I ate too much. FML

agreeclassic 39 695

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XsianinvasionX 0

Saturday 30 October 2010 2:43

I love ur dad I wish mine was that cool

beguile 0

Saturday 30 October 2010 2:42

lol. that sucks.

Comments

lowens110 0

Tuesday 16 November 2010 1:18

how would your dad know sick!

arthur2190 0

Thursday 18 November 2010 7:09

your dad is tight!!!!!

epicWINisFAIL 0

Thursday 9 December 2010 15:37

Pure win

Casowsky 0

Friday 17 December 2010 20:51

you should probably get that seen to then

Rasetsu 10

Sunday 21 August 2011 21:50

Your dad rocks!

lonelyharts86 8

Sunday 3 June 2012 19:56

Lol this is a good one

animal50199 10

Tuesday 17 July 2012 19:31

Wow. I would have puked under the table right then and there.

onorexveritas 23

Tuesday 25 December 2012 21:10

lmao!!!!

sickerthanyou 13

Tuesday 15 October 2013 17:17

your dad knows you swallow because he raised a good girl, and good girls always swallow :D.

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