Miscellaneous: Today, I was jogging through my neighborhood and then I notice... - FML

By Lolrus - 28/03/2009 16:50 - Qatar

Today, I was jogging through my neighborhood and then I notice this cute guy running beside me, we stoped and flirted for a while and my mom drove past. She then rolled down the window and said "Honey, you owe me for the dry cleaning on your period pants." FML

agreeclassic 103 215

vote type 1 5 769

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Scary

By -___- - 14/09/2013 00:37 - Canada - Montréal

Today, while out jogging with my mom, we saw my boyfriend walking in our direction. When we reached him, he took one look at my makeup-less face, then made a huge show of screaming in disgust before calmly walking away. FML

agreeclassic 50 836

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By embarassed - 12/10/2009 14:13 - United States

Today, I went to the grocery store. I saw a very cute guy in the aisle and smiled. He smiled back and blushed a little. He walked over and I flirted with him. He said, "I thought you should know the zipper on your jeans is down" and walked away. It was. FML

agreeclassic 30 510

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Classy

By embaressed - 19/12/2009 09:44 - United States

Today, I was standing outside a store about to flirt with this guy when my mother drove up and shouted, "Hurry up, I have diarrhea!" FML

agreeclassic 36 859

vote type 1 3 092

By johnboy - 09/11/2010 17:08 - United States

Today, I went for a run. When I got home, no one was there so I took off my clothes and laid on the cool wood floor. I decided to call my girlfriend and we started talking in baby voices. That's when my mom walked into the house witnessing everything. FML

agreeclassic 10 835

vote type 1 37 169

By Anonymous - 23/08/2010 06:21 - United States

Today, I went shopping with my Mom. I ran into my crush. A school dance is soon and he WAS just about to ask something but my mom glanced over and yelled "TAMPONS OR PADS, SWEETIE?!" He then changed his question to "Haha, so which?" And before I could say a word, my mother answered for me. FML

agreeclassic 43 025

vote type 1 3 673

Cougar

By Anonymous - 30/12/2020 02:08 - Canada

Today, I was at the laundromat doing laundry with my mom when the guy running the place asked if we were "together". I thought this was just because of Covid and social distancing, but it turns out he thought my mom was my wife. FML

agreeclassic 835

vote type 1 103

By Fonz - 26/01/2010 14:39 - United States

Today, I was driving home from college when I saw a couple of sporty chicks jogging on the side of the road. I honked at them and yelled suggestively as I do at college, which usually gets a fun flirty reaction from college girls. It was my next-door neighbor and her 11 year old daughter. FML

agreeclassic 6 523

vote type 1 56 720

By schmoodles - 07/05/2009 00:20 - United States

Today, as I was running a cute guy was coming towards me. As he was passing me, he yelled "nice tush!" I said thanks and slapped my ass flirtatiously. He stopped running, laughed and pointed to my crotch, replying "No, I said nice BUSH" I looked down to see my shorts had rode up a bit too high. FML

agreeclassic 22 805

vote type 1 70 937

By Rach - 20/02/2010 13:58 - Ireland

Today, I saw my crush standing at the bus stop. I did the "I'm talking to someone on the phone thing," trying to be cool. Halfway through the conversation my phone actually rang, I quickly answered but it was my mom on loudspeaker yelling, "Did you bring your tampons?" FML

agreeclassic 12 121

vote type 1 40 825

By mothtal - 03/06/2012 16:13 - Bulgaria

Today, my boyfriend picked me up to take me on a date. Just as we were about to drive away, my dad ran out of the house in his underwear and started yelling that he'd kill my boyfriend if I wasn't back home within the hour. FML

agreeclassic 27 581

vote type 1 2 270

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TOP COMMENTS

lifeftl 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 20:20

man your mom is an awesome cockblock

bioclock 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 20:19

Oh my god. What?

Comments

fyl2319 0

Wednesday 10 November 2010 13:56

BURN!!!!!!!!!!

bananal_fml 0

Saturday 9 April 2011 8:02

Some advice: get a momdar so you know when she's coming

lehmuffin 0

Monday 18 April 2011 5:48

It is not a special term. What she means is that the girl leaked through on dry-clean only pants. I hoped that helped:)

zimandme123 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 6:05

I kinda think she meant to embarrass you......

donnie111 12

Friday 15 July 2011 4:33

what a bitch but that is a Cool cockblock!

blinksmilewink 23

Tuesday 23 August 2011 23:41

Nice spelling on 'stopped'.

AnthonyN 5

Sunday 28 August 2011 19:10

lol she did that on purpose

nicholasj96 9

Thursday 7 February 2013 11:42

Oh nooo

MzJnicc 10

Tuesday 23 April 2013 2:03

awwwwwww that's foul!

TigrexTeeth 16

Friday 18 October 2013 11:21

What the **** are period pants?

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Love Coworkers Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Jealousy Underwear Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, I was showing my friend's dad an airsoft gun I was hoping he would be interested in buying. It's a pistol worth about 90 bucks. In the midst of showing him, I thought it would be funny to do a fake, upwards "pistol whip". The mag ended up flying out full speed and hitting him in the eye. FML

agreeclassic 6 937

vote type 1 45 285

Today, after months of believing my marriage has been better than ever, I found out that my husband has been cheating on me with our neighbor. I can't afford to move, and I have to see the fake-titted homewrecker every day. FML

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Today, I was on the bus home from work when I felt something strange in my hair. I turned to look, and saw the old woman next to me sucking on the end of my hair. When she noticed me staring, she didn't stop but instead said, "So pretty. Can I have?" FML

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vote type 1 1 425

Today, my boyfriend decided to fart in our bathtub to see if it would echo. It wasn’t a fart. FML

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Today, there was a karaoke at my job's Thanksgiving party. A girl sang and sounded horrible. I later told a colleague about it and said, "She sucked so bad… if I wanted to hear an animal dying, I'd go to a slaughterhouse." She was within earshot and burst into tears. Oh, and she's my boss's daughter. FML

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Today, my roommate and I had to pay our first installment of rent. He's nowhere to be found. FML

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