Love: Today, I was enjoying a romantic cuddle on the couch with my... - FML

By Amberain - 16/08/2012 15:16 - United Kingdom - Widnes

Today, I was enjoying a romantic cuddle on the couch with my boyfriend, when he suddenly decided to lift up my shirt, stick his face into my boobs, and go all Darth Vader on me. This included heavy breathing and phrases such as, "Amber... I am your boyfriend." FML

agreeclassic 29 352

vote type 1 7 086

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By LoveStruck- - 10/02/2010 07:29 - United States

Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML

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By Reliena - 21/01/2012 05:47 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were in the shower, we began to get a bit frisky. That was until I lifted my arms and he immediately made one of his "Chewbacca Calls." He was referring to my armpits that I had forgotten to shave. FML

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By MulticoloredSlug - 13/10/2016 10:57 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML

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By byebyeromance - 26/08/2014 01:03 - United States - State College

Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML

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By sarajj - 29/03/2013 21:36 - United States - Littleton

Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML

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By Anonymous - 01/04/2011 04:32 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML

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By :(((( - 27/04/2011 06:54

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend and told him how smitten I was with him. He responded by giving me a wedgie. FML

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By Emily - 05/12/2012 17:55 - United States - Boston

Today, I was diagnosed with pneumonia. My breathing is short and heavy, and I wanted my boyfriend to comfort me. Instead, he called me Darth Vader, patted me on the head, and said, "Don't worry, the Force will be with you." FML

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By GasAttack - 07/09/2009 13:32 - Canada

Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML

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By rebeccacaissie - 21/11/2010 18:16 - United States

Today, I was being a little playful with my boyfriend when we began wrestling. He then put me in a choking headlock and wouldn't let me out until I "tapped out". FML

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TOP COMMENTS

4rmMiami 4

Thursday 16 August 2012 18:59

May the force be with you

SkoomaKi 27

Thursday 16 August 2012 19:00

The horniness is strong with this one.

Comments

Alexion_Danger 0

Thursday 16 August 2012 22:15

I think it's kind if funny

laurenlovesjb 20

Thursday 16 August 2012 22:15

Or he could have said, "Amber, your boyfriend I am!"

PandaSpots 10

Thursday 16 August 2012 22:17

I am in love with your boyfriend.

aqua8992 11

Thursday 16 August 2012 22:21

Actually this is adorable :)

purplebumblebee 2

Thursday 16 August 2012 22:23

That didn't give you an ******? That's unnatural.

PrettyAwesome76 8

Thursday 16 August 2012 22:25

I think that's cute and funny your boyfriends I awesome

andria907 2

Thursday 16 August 2012 22:28

I think that's cute

jordan_fan28 1

Thursday 16 August 2012 22:34

Nothing embarrassing about that.

LittleGreenPaola 23

Thursday 16 August 2012 22:41

That's so AWESOME! Marry him!

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Today, I got a notification that a package had been delivered. I opened my door and saw it on at doorstep. I was expecting one, so I grabbed and opened it, then realized it wasn’t mine, but my neighbor’s. I had to awkwardly re-tape it, then sneak over and leave the disturbing contents of the box on their porch before they noticed. FML

agreeclassic 360

vote type 1 162

You can do it!

agreeclassic 495

vote type 1 110

Today, my son announced he wants to be a YouTuber, and wants to make videos of himself doing violent things to pregnant women. He’s 9. FML

agreeclassic 1 251

vote type 1 371

Today, I was walking to work when I noticed a cute guy ahead of me. He turned into every single street that I needed to take, and I started to worry he might think I was following him. Just as I was about to overtake him and prove I wasn't a creep, he turned into the building where I work. He's the new intern. Now I have to avoid eye contact for the rest of my life. FML

agreeclassic 299

vote type 1 253

Today, I was supposed to close on a house. Unfortunately, our lender decided that they couldn't finance us and denied us a loan, after 3 months of us digging up paperwork, saving money, and packing. Now we have to scramble to find a new place, while our insane landlady screams at us. FML

agreeclassic 808

vote type 1 83

Today, I had to stifle a fart so my upstairs neighbors wouldn't hear it. I know this because I frequently hear theirs. FML

agreeclassic 27 292

vote type 1 3 034