Today, I was daydreaming in my room when suddenly I got a phone...

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By kawaiimonster - 20/06/2018 23:09

Today, I was daydreaming in my room when suddenly I got a phone call. I got startled and promptly fainted. Sadly, this happens every time I hear a loud noise. FML

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BurnInDemonFire 35

Saturday 23 June 2018 1:16

Are you one of those fainting goats?

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BurnInDemonFire 35

Saturday 23 June 2018 1:16

Are you one of those fainting goats?

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Today, I was in a supermarket using the self-checkout. I tried to scan a loaf of bread, but it wouldn't register. After several attempts and increasing frustration, I slammed the loaf down on the scanner. The bread tore open, and seeds flew everywhere. An old woman behind me said, "Technology can be hard for the young, too." FML

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Today, while I was watching TV, my boyfriend took my unicorn pillow pet and made it hump my arm. I told him to stop acting like a child. He replied, "Children don't have sex like this," and started making sex noises while making the pillow pet hump my arm faster and harder. FML

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Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML

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