Health: Today, I took a nap on the couch in the family room. My brother...

By ouch - 03/01/2011 00:36 - United States

Today, I took a nap on the couch in the family room. My brother thought it would be hilarious to take clear packaging tape and put it on my chapped lips. Then rip it off. FML

agreeclassic 31 653

vote type 1 2 993

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By finalfantasy - 21/06/2018 17:30 - United States - Aurora

Today, my brother thought it would be absolutely hilarious to replace my cold sore cream with superglue. FML

agreeclassic 3 869

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By argfarblewarblearble - 07/08/2015 13:49 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I was laying on the couch, listening to music. I guess my brother noticed that I was yawning a lot, because when I opened my mouth and yawned again, he dropped one of his rancid toenail clippings into my mouth, then broke into hysterical laughter at my freaking out. FML

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By ow - 17/01/2010 05:25 - United States

Today, I learned that when you put duct tape over your mouth because you are bored, it really hurts taking it off. FML

agreeclassic 6 252

vote type 1 69 812

By Ep1cF4ce - 26/07/2011 04:03 - United States

Today, I was sleeping like a baby on our living room couch. My older brother and his friends lit my slippers on fire. While I was wearing them. They even took a video. FML

agreeclassic 36 109

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Revenge

By Natasha - 20/02/2021 21:30

Today, because I wouldn’t let my little sister have any more cookies, she snuck into my room while I was sleeping and superglued my lips together. FML

agreeclassic 1 095

vote type 1 123

By luckycharmed - 17/06/2014 17:34 - United States

Today, my roommate played a "prank" on me. He taped a length of clear cellophane at ankle-height just outside my bedroom door, causing me to trip and faceplant the floor, and busting out a tooth. I now look like a hick, and my roommate is refusing to cover my dental bills. FML

agreeclassic 49 777

vote type 1 4 395

By Anonymous - 05/07/2012 04:01 - Canada - Brampton

Today, my brother thought it would be funny to pretend my tampons were "dynamite" and run around the house throwing them at my friends and family. FML

agreeclassic 25 340

vote type 1 2 589

Cool nickname

By nearsighted-ut - 26/09/2019 02:00

Today, I was watching TV when my older brother thought it would be funny to rip a bare-assed fart in my face before a shower. I looked up, only to see a brown blob on my glasses. My nickname is now "Shitfaced." FML

agreeclassic 1 951

vote type 1 127

By mr.palendrome - 06/03/2009 02:27 - United States

Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML

agreeclassic 52 453

vote type 1 28 114

By girl on fire - 03/09/2015 00:32

Today, my idiot kid brother set my shirt on fire with a magnifying glass while I was taking a nap outside. FML

agreeclassic 25 428

vote type 1 2 726

EvenHopeHides 0

Monday 3 January 2011 9:35

you should take clear packaging tape on his pubes, then rip it off

tygerarmy 35

Monday 3 January 2011 9:23

Besides the initial pain are you ok? Just get your brother back. He's gotta sleep sometime.

Comments

blink_kid 32

Friday 10 August 2012 15:13

I understand this pain. Too well.

kesht1996 12

Thursday 31 October 2013 3:57

Oh that's cold

ashjo 12

Wednesday 6 November 2013 7:08

what a bitch

Jordan_markel 10

Monday 10 March 2014 7:09

Trololol

Shazra 9

Sunday 15 March 2015 5:07

Posts like these make me cringe >_

gatorgirl7563 22

Wednesday 27 January 2016 14:42

Put tape or hair removal wax on his balls

numbyhi 7

Monday 13 June 2016 18:05

This made me audibly gasp

somewhitechick 8

Saturday 10 November 2018 2:36

I’d be fighting

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Today, I took my toddler to a petting zoo and warned her not to stick her fingers in the goat pen. Two minutes later, I stuck my finger in to pet one, and it bit me. She looked me dead in the eyes and said, “See? I told you.” FML

agreeclassic 78

vote type 1 651

Today, I met my ex's new boyfriend. I was at work, cashiering at the movie theater that they were apparently having their first date at. We broke up less than 24 hours ago. FML

agreeclassic 33 847

vote type 1 2 637

Today, I discovered my mom has over 20 sites bookmarked on her laptop, all having to do with 'How To Boost Your Insecure Teen's Confidence' or 'How To Help Your Overweight Teen Have A Positive Self Image'. Thanks, Mommy. FML

agreeclassic 34 679

vote type 1 7 295

Today, while feeling sick, I decided to go to a furniture store to sit down for a few minutes. I'm now the proud owner of an expensive, vomit-stained recliner. FML

agreeclassic 21 836

vote type 1 45 804

Today, my cat pooped on the floor. After cleaning it up, I’m fairly certain it was not my cat but instead my roommate, who I also suspect is pooping in the litter box. FML

agreeclassic 2 946

vote type 1 225

Today, after I took a shower, I was wiping my face with the towel I share with my sister. It smelled peculiar, so I took my face away and looked at it. Turns out, I was wiping my face on a huge shit stain. FML

agreeclassic 2 080

vote type 1 1 253

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Revenge

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