Miscellaneous: Today, I threw a rock in the air and watched it soar. And watched... - FML

By Gale - 13/01/2009 15:01 - United States

Today, I threw a rock in the air and watched it soar. And watched it come back down and hit me in the face. Gravity. FML

agreeclassic 7 879

vote type 1 52 979

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By untitledentity - 24/05/2009 16:03 - United States

Today, I decided to use my mentor's advice. I told her I had been having some trouble controlling my anger, she told me to throw rocks at trees. I threw a rock at a tree, very hard. It bounced back hit me above the eye. I'm still pissed as shit. FML

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By Anonymous - 17/02/2014 02:29 - United States - Hedgesville

Today, I was throwing rocks into a pond while our class was on a field trip. The teacher started to pass around an old rare civil war bullet. As the bullet got to me, I threw another rock in the river, only to notice a rock in my hand and the bullet gone. FML

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By ouchmyeye - 10/06/2011 04:59 - United States

Today, as I was sleeping I heard something bang on my door. I walked on my balcony only to find my boyfriend throwing rocks trying to wake me. He didn't see me and threw a rock right into my eye. FML

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By Anonymous - 04/02/2014 18:00 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, as I came home from school, I saw a little rock in the road. I kicked it, intending to send it sailing into the bushes in front of my house. It went wide and sailed straight into a window instead. FML

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As usual

By jadakorn - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got home and threw my phone onto my bed as usual. This time it bounced out the window. FML

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What goes up…

By Anonymous - 27/01/2013 11:10 - United States - Grand Junction

Today, the rollercoaster I was on stuck upside down for a few minutes. I shat myself in terror. Then, gravity took effect. FML

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By hopeless - 27/06/2011 14:09 - Canada

Today, I was playing tetherball with my younger brother. I get really competitive, so I threw it as hard as I could. It came around and hit me in the face. FML

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By BOOMerang - 24/09/2009 21:39 - United States

Today, I played with a boomerang my first time. I didn't believe that when you threw it, it comes right back to you. It flew back all right. And broke my nose. FML

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By Anonymous - 29/11/2009 16:57 - United States

Today, my ceiling fan was rocking violently so I turned it off. I stood under it trying to figure out what the problem is, it fell on my face. FML

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Stop staring!

By Anonymous - 15/06/2025 09:00 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, my 5-year-old told me that she'd learnt about gravity, then asked, “So when you fall down, is it because the Earth punched you?” I said yes, along with a giggle. Later at the supermarket, she tripped and screamed, “THE EARTH HIT ME AGAIN!” I was then reminded of high school when it felt like everyone was staring at me. FML

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TOP COMMENTS

Timmytwofinger 0

Thursday 5 February 2009 3:06

if it's any consolation i think i just pissed myself.

sai_fml 0

Saturday 28 February 2009 8:42

Wow you have an impressive arm...very very difficult to throw a rock straight up and down... You should put some of that training diligence into the "dodging" component of the excercise

Comments

Hero_Unit 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 22:42

darwin

CHILL222 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 2:18

thats real smooth, thnx 4 the laugh

jcack 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 22:25

I hate gravity too.

martymcfly12 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 17:41

Umm your a Retard

jerry2295 1

Wednesday 3 June 2009 20:59

Gravity is a bitch

s52 0

Friday 5 June 2009 6:57

And to think...one whole step to the right an you'd be ok!

weman321 0

Friday 5 June 2009 9:33

Ahahah 4 and 5 rofl

FFoamz 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 2:30

YDI. Are your reflexes that suckish?

high4 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 17:11

Don't have kids.

veliki 0

Friday 12 June 2009 0:24

Absolute genius!!

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Today, I was telling my fiancée about my Hashimoto's symptoms when my MIL to-be said, "You must be drinking too much alcohol. My aunt had a goiter and it only swelled when she drank, usually bourbon or beer." She then walked out of the room, perfectly content with her "diagnosis." FML

agreeclassic 1 699

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Today, because my husband wasn’t paying attention, he gave our 6 year-old his Netflix instead of the kid safe settings, so she watched a very gory horror film that has given her nightmares, so I now haven’t slept in 5 nights because of it. My husband face sleeps soundly through her screaming. FML

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Today, I was at a party and saw an old friend from college. I went up to her asking how she was and how her family was. She went on to tell me that her husband left her a month ago and started crying. I told her that he was an ass anyway and that she didn't need him. Turns out he died. FML

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Today, I got a phone call. I thought it was just one of these toll free numbers that were always calling so when I answered the phone, I said, “City morgue: you stab 'em, we slab 'em! How may I help you?” It was my college calling to discuss my grades. FML

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Today, my grandma walked into my house drunk. She was mumbling something about her being a badass because she beat someone with a pool stick at a bar. She's 68 years old. FML

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