Animals: Today, I thought it would be funny to pee on a small bug in the...

By stupidbug. - 09/04/2012 08:28 - Canada

Today, I thought it would be funny to pee on a small bug in the toilet. A much larger bug thought it would be funny to fly into my eye while I was doing this. FML

agreeclassic 11 980

vote type 1 37 034

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

Pissed

By Anonymous - 13/01/2014 07:34 - United States - Ewa Beach

Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML

agreeclassic 23 958

vote type 1 54 123

By Anonymous - 17/05/2009 05:17 - United States

Today, I was on a bike ride when a bug flew into my eye. Not wanting to stop, I figured I would just keep that eye closed until I could cry it out. Five seconds later, a bug flew into my other eye. FML

agreeclassic 56 988

vote type 1 8 700

By funyfunkid - 22/12/2009 19:18 - United States

Today, I saw a roach on my toilet. I thought it would be funny to pee on it. It jumped out, which scared me; I hit my head on the wall and started bleeding, then I peed all over myself and the wall. FML

agreeclassic 10 136

vote type 1 47 972

By TheMichaelNixon - 14/11/2009 21:37 - United States

Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself. FML

agreeclassic 8 804

vote type 1 75 555

By Anonypiss - 22/07/2015 16:21 - Canada - Pembroke

Today, I was taking a piss at a urinal when a fly started harassing me. I got so annoyed, I tried to swat it. Didn't go too well. I ended up losing control of my stream, soaking the guy beside me. He busted my face in. FML

agreeclassic 17 650

vote type 1 26 693

Fire hose

By pissedoffandon - 06/05/2009 14:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I was taking a piss at the urinal when a fly started buzzing around my head. It started getting in my face, so I tried to swat it away. After about 10 seconds of intense swatting, I looked down to find I had pissed all over my shoes and down the front of my trousers. FML

agreeclassic 15 945

vote type 1 61 846

By bugnose - 16/05/2011 06:26

Today, I noticed an extremely large bug buzzing around my room. After several attempts, I stomped on it with my shoe. I was trying to get a closer look at my victory when it flew into my nostril. Turns out it was just playing dead. FML

agreeclassic 35 949

vote type 1 9 138

Fancy a pint?

By Anonymous - 04/09/2020 22:02 - United States - Tyler

Today, while I was relaxing outside drinking a beer after a long day, a moth decided to fly right into my ear canal. I instinctively threw my hand up to swat it out. With the same hand holding the beer. I soaked the side of my face and down my ear. At least I got the bug out. FML

agreeclassic 1 006

vote type 1 321

By ow - 04/09/2010 23:43 - United States

Today, while I was running in a cross country meet, a bug flew into my right eye. Then, a bug flew into my left eye. Not wanting to lose a neck-and-neck sprint, I tried to run blind. I hit a pole. FML

agreeclassic 32 610

vote type 1 8 942

By Anonymous - 04/09/2014 06:44 - United States - Saginaw

Today, I tried to blink out a small speck of dirt that was caught in my eye. Instead, I learned what it feels like to suffocate a small, angry spider with your eyelid. FML

agreeclassic 47 561

vote type 1 3 841

AugustBurnsToast 14

Monday 9 April 2012 16:14

What comes around goes around eh?

hotPinklipstick 24

Monday 9 April 2012 16:15

That's karma. Why don't you learn to piss on someone your own size.

Comments

Driveshaft 5

Tuesday 10 April 2012 1:53

I hope you were camping and going in an outhouse...otherwise, how dirty are you that there're multiple bugs buzzing around as you go?

franwins0827 7

Tuesday 10 April 2012 2:25

I am Inigo Montbuggo. You peed on my father. Prepare your eye.

PinkChampaign 0

Tuesday 10 April 2012 3:08

Still not understanding why you had the urge to pee on a bug in the first place...?

EagorLuvsBigFoot 8

Tuesday 10 April 2012 3:43

I now look forward to seeing your comments, NoorFml :)

sily44 0

Tuesday 10 April 2012 4:32

Lmao!!!

StephanyTheSheep_fml 4

Tuesday 10 April 2012 5:01

Someone needs to clean...

Kristin23S 4

Tuesday 10 April 2012 5:08

Sounds like you've got a bug problem.

BookFeminist 0

Tuesday 10 April 2012 5:12

Karma even applies to taking a piss.

idntwannaknow 3

Tuesday 10 April 2012 5:45

Maybe you were pissing on his bro.

canadian93 2

Tuesday 10 April 2012 7:18

Solidarity!

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, at my first AA meeting, my best friend thought it would be funny to burst in drunk and tell everyone that I was the champion at beer pong and that there was a party at my place after my "quitter club" ended. FML

agreeclassic 11 574

vote type 1 942

Today, my son said his first word. Unfortunately, that word was "cock." I've tried convincing myself that he's trying to say "clock" but I just can't do it. FML

agreeclassic 44 254

vote type 1 7 776

Today, I woke up after a night of New Year's Eve partying. I remember the night going great. What I don't remember is laying naked in the shower while my girlfriend ran water over my body to make me feel better. I also made my own funeral plans because I was convinced I was going to die. FML

agreeclassic 28 846

vote type 1 8 061

Today, I went to a market. I saw stall which had mainly animal furs and things like that. I found a rounded, furry pen and stroked my cheek with it. Wondering what it was, being so soft and oddly shaped, I checked the tag. It was kangaroo testicles. FML

agreeclassic 40 701

vote type 1 19 919

Today, I was helping my friend wash dishes. As I went to grab some tongs to dry them, I impaled my forearm on a knife that was sticking blade up. My friend wanted to finish the dishes before taking me to the hospital. FML

agreeclassic 66 686

vote type 1 4 995

Today, at work on a construction site, my coworker dropped a small piece of metal from 4 stories, and it struck another worker. We quickly began to climb down to see if the person was OK, and the same coworker dropped a metal pole, and crushed my hand, two minutes after the first accident. FML

agreeclassic 25 194

vote type 1 1 456

Similar FMLs

Pissed

Fire hose

Fancy a pint?

TOP COMMENTS

Comments