Intimacy: Today, I realized the closest thing I've had to an intimate relationship...

By Anonymous - 29/01/2012 19:55 - United States

Today, I realized the closest thing I've had to an intimate relationship with a female is the one I have with my cat. Even then, she ignores me. FML

agreeclassic 27 543

vote type 1 5 810

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Good boy, best boy

By Anonymous - 20/07/2020 14:01

Today, I realised that I have a better relationship with my cat than I do with my boyfriend. FML

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By Darling_Cherry - 02/01/2010 21:22 - United States

Today, I realized that the only male that has ever been in bed with me has been my cat. FML

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Little bundle of fluff

By Anonymous - 23/09/2025 22:00

Today, I have concluded that my new girlfriend is a cat. She ignores me 99% of the day, nuzzles me when she does want attention, gets the zoomies randomly twice a day, her snoring legit sounds like she’s purring, and when she gets real mad, she scratches. FML

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Hey human, I'm right here

By Not now - 12/09/2022 04:00 - United States

Today, I've realized that my cat doesn't give me the time of day, unless I'm trying to do something that's difficult with a cat present, or at the very least makes it impossible for me to give him attention. Then he's all over me. It's a vicious cycle, with no end in sight. FML

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Unloveable

By sal - 27/09/2020 05:02 - Canada

Today, I adopted a cat, thinking it would make my life a little less lonely. Within an hour, the cat ran away. Not even animals want to be around me. FML

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My one true friend

By When all else fails, talk to the kitty - 21/05/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I realized my cat responds to and interacts with me when I talk to her more than my own parents do when I talk to them. Actually, that statement applies to pretty much everyone I know. FML

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By izu - 16/09/2011 05:40 - United States

Today, my mom decided to only speak to me through our pet cat. FML

agreeclassic 26 223

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By Jack - 10/01/2016 02:07 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, after dating my girlfriend for a while, I had a realization. She often says things like, "You're my favorite!" and scratches my beard, which I appreciated affectionately. Upon meeting her pets, it dawned on me that I am just another one of her cats. FML

agreeclassic 25 673

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Sick move, bro

By jlw1998 - 25/04/2016 04:36 - United States - Dallas

Today, I bought my girlfriend a cat. I now have a cat and no girlfriend. FML

agreeclassic 18 505

vote type 1 4 522

By CatLover<3 - 18/06/2013 23:27 - United States - Cibolo

Today, I tried to explain to my cat why I was single, but then I realized why. FML

agreeclassic 46 535

vote type 1 21 939

Calen5556 0

Monday 30 January 2012 1:30

I'm not sure if "intimate" is the best word choice to describe your relationship with your cat

klimp 0

Monday 30 January 2012 1:30

That is incredibly disturbing. Do you lick that pussy?

Comments

Sulphuric_Glue 16

Wednesday 10 February 2016 20:42

I know that feel bro

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, my dad moved my car onto the street so he wouldn't accidentally back into it while moving our boat. My neighbor backed into it instead. FML

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Today, while giving directions to a blind guy, I accidentally made him walk into a wall. FML

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Today, my brother had texted me, asking, "Why did you take Mom's chocolate? That's pathetic." I proceeded to swear on my own life that I didn't, but directly after that he sent me a picture of the wrapper in my room. FML

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