Imma let you finish...writing your hilarious and totally unpredictable pussy jokes. Looking forward to laughing my ass off!

My husky and cat fight over my husband. I’m just a food machine to them.

Same.

My experience with cats is that they like you better if you ignore them to some extent and don't get all excited to play until they make the first move. Don't stare lovingly at them, they see it as a threat. Basically they are the opposite of dogs. Maybe that's what your boyfriend is doing?

When I first got my cat, she hated any kind of contact from humans. She expected to be fed, but if you touched her, or picked her up, she would let you know how big of a mistake you just made. It took a while, but by always showing her affection, unless she brought her hunting prizes inside the house, she allows human contact for a lot longer, will curl up and fall asleep on anyone who lets her, and hasn't brought in a dead animal for a long time. Although, she still doesn't like having her belly rubbed, but I think that's a separate issue.