Intimacy: Today, I realized no matter what I try, I can't stimulate my... - FML

Content almost refused by staff

By anonymous - 29/04/2016 02:30 - Canada - Halifax

Today, I realized no matter what I try, I can't stimulate my clitorus. I get more pleasure cleaning my ears. My clitorus is broken. FML

agreeclassic 60

vote type 1 4

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. More…

Previous FML Next FML

TOP COMMENTS

Vladimiroslaw 8

Friday 29 April 2016 10:38

I think I know what's your problem: to much of U, and very little of I. It should be "********".

Comments

Vladimiroslaw 8

Friday 29 April 2016 10:38

I think I know what's your problem: to much of U, and very little of I. It should be "********".

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Top

Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML

agreeclassic 58 292

vote type 1 4 601

Today, my new boyfriend came over to my apartment for the first time. Up until now I thought he was great, but when he spotted the book I'm currently reading next to my couch, he uttered the immortal question, "Why do you read?" FML

agreeclassic 29 708

vote type 1 3 793

Today, I went to therapy. Previously, I had been given the task to write a list of things I hate about myself so my doctor could see what we needed to work on. I gave her the list, and she simply said, "Wow, I've never had someone give me such a long list." I had 55 items on the list. FML

agreeclassic 1 850

vote type 1 282

Today, my family keeps pestering me about whether I've contacted my father yet. My father, the one who treated me and my family like crap throughout my upbringing and cheated on my mom a few years ago. I don't know why they think I'd ever want to see him again. FML

agreeclassic 460

vote type 1 96

Today, on my way home, my girlfriend started sexting me, telling me that she was waiting at my house. In my rush to get home to see her, I got pulled over and had to be patted down. He found no weapons, but he did find my stiffy. FML

agreeclassic 41 986

vote type 1 12 671

Today, I ran one of the hardest cross-country courses in the country. I'm a pretty good runner, and I was feeling confident for the first mile. Then the Chipotle from last night's dinner hit, and my legs weren't the only thing running. FML

agreeclassic 41 052

vote type 1 9 878