Miscellaneous: Today, I opened my birthday present from my grandfather. It was...

By Noname - 08/03/2009 04:28 - United States

Today, I opened my birthday present from my grandfather. It was a map of the USA color coded by regional percentage of available men. FML

agreeclassic 60 740

vote type 1 4 491

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By firethorn - 20/06/2011 05:57 - United States

Today, I opened my Father's Day present from my mother-in-law. It was a glamor shot of her. FML

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Not a geography major

By Anonymous - 20/09/2013 22:45 - United States - Buffalo

Today, I had to show my daughter where the USA is on a map. She's 17, and we live in the USA. FML

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By noname - 07/01/2009 11:43 - France

Today, I received a really nice red satin set of underwear, with a bra, a thong and a corset... From my grandfather. FML

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Brown and sticky

By Jon - 14/03/2009 06:30 - United States

Today, I came home a day after my birthday, and was greeted by my mother who told me, "Oh, I have birthday present for you." She explained that she and my father went on a hike, and handed me my present. I got a fucking stick for my birthday. FML

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By Anonymous - 01/05/2025 12:00 - Czechia - Prague

Today, my father gave me the best birthday gift, a piece of real estate. I got a grave, which is leased. FML

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Lower your expectations

By Brilliant... - 25/05/2011 17:44 - United Kingdom

Today, it was my birthday. Some 17 year-olds will receive cars as presents from their parents. Mine, however, booked me a plot in the local graveyard. FML

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By Anonymous - 02/01/2015 22:46 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, it's my 40th birthday. I got two presents by mail: a jar of wrinkle cream from a market research company, and an ad from a funeral home. FML

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By salt. - 28/02/2012 22:04 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My fiancé decided to give me the gift of "freedom." That's how he put it, anyway. FML

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By cgold - 30/04/2009 02:11 - United States

Today, I met my paternal grandfather for the first time. I’ve spent the last three months tracking him down. I poured my heart out and told about how much this meant to me. He told me I had a nice rack and asked for a cigarette. FML

agreeclassic 89 239

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By poppet2010 - 17/01/2010 15:58 - France

Today, my uncle died. It was also my grandpa's 85th birthday. His reaction to the death? "Best birthday gift ever!" FML

agreeclassic 35 740

vote type 1 2 855

Yunie_fml 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 12:21

Someone's in a hurry to get those great-grandchildren.

Emika_fml 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 13:37

That's an awesome gift! Where can I buy one?

Comments

swim2012 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 1:23

Cool grandpa...I guess LOL

fenimors 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 18:20

Ha ha great map

JakeHorton8 0

Friday 5 June 2009 5:19

Haha your grandpa's a major D***

21icefox 0

Wednesday 8 July 2009 18:13

he's trying to help but that's a sucky way of doing it.

greendaygirl112 0

Tuesday 6 April 2010 19:28

he is only trying to help still funni tho

k1w1 0

Tuesday 1 June 2010 3:07

BWAHAHA!

foork 0

Thursday 1 July 2010 3:26

u selfish complainer!!

samuelmartin 0

Wednesday 4 August 2010 7:26

would have been worse if op was a guy.

fatass_ninja 0

Sunday 14 August 2011 12:09

hint?...nah!

djack0113 0

Monday 3 October 2011 5:36

Where do I buy this?!

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, a Milkbone commercial came on TV. At the end of it, they whistle and throw a Milkbone across the screen, prompting my 100lb German Shepherd to leap off the couch and run head on into my new plasma screen TV. FML

agreeclassic 52 166

vote type 1 4 788

Today, a kid threw a rock at a beehive while my friend and I where standing next to it. It fell down, and a swarm of slightly displeased bees assumed that we were the culprit. Knowing what was about to happen, my friend and I ran for our lives. He ran fast enough to escape; I didn't. The kid, the actual culprit, didn't get attacked. FML

agreeclassic 961

vote type 1 123

Today, I bought my niece a plush My Little Pony figure for her birthday. Only after she unwrapped it did I realize that it was meant to be a sex toy for grown men. FML

agreeclassic 45 833

vote type 1 19 270

Today, while getting a dental filling, the fire alarm sounded. The plaza was evacuated and we had to stand outside in the cold for 2 hours. The anesthetic wore off. FML

agreeclassic 1 101

vote type 1 62

Today, and every day since I got her, I leaned down to pour food and water into my cat's bowls. And today, like every single day, I forgot that my granite countertop sticks out a bit. I think part of my head is flat now. FML

agreeclassic 3 115

vote type 1 3 718

Today, my mother went out of her way to, over completely trivial bullshit, wake me up early on the only two days of the week I don’t have to wake up at 4:30AM, drive an hour both ways, and work my fingers to the bone for twelve hours straight. This is why I’m so soul-shreddingly desperate to move out. FML

agreeclassic 911

vote type 1 154