Love: Today, I noticed the only time my husband stops snoring like... - FML

By Anonymous - 14/05/2012 05:26 - United States - Burbank

Today, I noticed the only time my husband stops snoring like a drunken horse is so that he can fart. FML

agreeclassic 23 361

vote type 1 2 467

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By Insomniac - 18/05/2019 04:17

Today, and for the past four years, the only time my husband stops snoring while asleep is so that he can fart. FML

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By Tired Girlfriend - 14/06/2017 22:00

Today, it's 2am. I've been trying to get to sleep for the past two hours next to my snoring boyfriend. Every time I nudge him to shut him up, his body tenses, he farts, then goes straight back to snoring. FML

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The language of love

By disgusted - 24/09/2012 19:16 - United Kingdom - Harpenden

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

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By anonomys - 05/09/2011 19:19 - Canada

Today, my husband compared me to his parents' dog. Why? Because when I sleep, I fart and scare myself awake. Just like his parents' dog. FML

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Noise complaint

By no sleep for me - 08/01/2013 07:44

Today, I tried to get my boyfriend to roll over while he was asleep. He snores loud enough to wake the neighbors and if he lays on his side he usually stops. Instead of rolling over, he stuck his leg in the air, farted twice, and laughed about it in his sleep. He's still snoring. FML

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By Fartnonymous - 18/08/2015 10:59 - Qatar - Doha

Today, it's been a week since I started farting in my sleep for no apparent reason. It's so frequent and so foul-smelling that my husband and I are both losing sleep and are having to take afternoon naps to make up for it. FML

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Cozy

By Anonymous - 03/04/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, my husband fell asleep on my shoulder. He then ripped a nasty fart. I exhaled slowly but apparently loud enough that it woke up my husband who promptly screamed directly in my ear, before screaming a second time when he smelled the fart as well. The worst part is that also he scared my cat off my lap. FML

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By PissedOff - 26/01/2017 14:25

Today, my husband sent me a short video of my snoring last night because I wanted to hear how bad I sound. The first few seconds went by OK, but for the rest of the clip I could barely hear anything else over the sound of my husband taking a long piss in our bathroom. FML

agreeclassic 4 789

vote type 1 483

By Anonymous - 30/11/2009 07:37 - United States

Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend watching me sleep. I asked him if he was staring at me because he was in love. He replied that it was because my farting wouldn't let him sleep. FML

agreeclassic 31 799

vote type 1 13 986

Hilarious

By Anonymous - 01/02/2012 20:21 - United States

Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML

agreeclassic 36 313

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Next

TOP COMMENTS

Zaxnu 0

Monday 14 May 2012 12:26

Are you sleeping with my husband?

shayshayshazam 14

Monday 14 May 2012 11:47

That really doesn't sound like a good time.

Comments

kkillaj 5

Tuesday 15 May 2012 8:15

When you sleep in the same bed as OPs husband you're gonna have a bad time.

musicat29 6

Tuesday 15 May 2012 8:29

Try breathe right strips!

BMC1999 0

Wednesday 16 May 2012 6:05

Nice choice

Kush_bbi 3

Wednesday 16 May 2012 7:35

We're married to the same man lmfao

bubo_fml 10

Wednesday 16 May 2012 23:33

Silly woman! You don't even know your sitting on a cash cow! Simply insert a hose up his rectum every night & collect the gas he expels over the course of the evening. Invest in a compression system & sell the excess for some dosh...(I expect a cut of the cheese, so to speak...)

Crackletown 0

Wednesday 6 June 2012 1:42

You shoul look into c paps

BrotherPhil 35

Friday 31 May 2013 11:10

Sorry Honey!

MarkToast 19

Sunday 17 November 2013 19:57

where did you learn what a drunken snoring horse sounded like?

qwerty123456789o 14

Monday 23 December 2013 8:50

Just feed him a lot of beans

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Today, my boyfriend texted me saying, "I can come over today. She thinks I've got work." I think he had the wrong number. FML

agreeclassic 86 533

vote type 1 4 228

Today, while working security at my job, for the second time, a man with Down's Syndrome entered the store, went to one of the demo computers, opened YouTube, pulled up a video of oiled women wrestling and jerked off. There is no protocol in the handbook for how to deal with this scenario. FML

agreeclassic 35 973

vote type 1 2 524

Today, I found out that my dad, thinking it was an advertisement, threw away a letter from the college I applied to. FML

agreeclassic 39 227

vote type 1 2 669

Today, I was rushed to the hospital because I was crying so hard I couldn't breathe. Why was I crying? My favorite anime character died. FML

agreeclassic 19 638

vote type 1 83 279

Today, to surprise my boss who promoted me within the first two months of my new job, I offered to take him and a couple of coworkers out to eat. We had one minor inconvenience: my bank card declined. I was 200$ in the negative. Apparently my wife decided to take the kids winter clothes shopping. It’s fucking April. FML

agreeclassic 1 057

vote type 1 253

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after my check cleared for my half of the $1000 deposit on our new apartment. FML

agreeclassic 25 271

vote type 1 2 381