Miscellaneous: Today, I learned that my family doesn't invite me to family gatherings....

I have never gotten to go on any of my family vacations. My parents are divorced and have each separately taken my brother and didn't invite me but still called it the family vacation

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Today, my girlfriend is giving me the silent treatment and is making me sleep on the couch, all because I said I loved my best female friend. I meant loved like family. She still won’t hear me out. FML

agreeclassic 788

vote type 1 799

Today, I was feeling a little bored so I decided to go outside for once. Living in Florida is nice and all, except for the fact that right now I'm putting ice over two snake bites. FML

agreeclassic 12 853

vote type 1 1 177

Today, on my first day of being a trainee teacher in a classroom, I told a boy to stop using that stupid accent or else I'll give him a detention. Turns out he just moved here from Romania. FML

agreeclassic 9 783

vote type 1 74 173

Today, they say our bowels are like a second brain. Well, mine seem to have the brain of an 8-year-old, because we’ve been playing “Attack of the Monster Poo” for five consecutive days now. Of course, like any self-respecting monster, it only attacks when you're asleep, then again once you've let your guard down. FML

agreeclassic 326

vote type 1 87

Today, while in the car with my mom, we accidentally ran over a dog who had sprinted into the road. Instead of stopping, my mom continued to drive as if nothing happened. Every time I tried to bring it up, she merely talked loudly over me. FML

agreeclassic 18 020

vote type 1 1 637

Today, the accredited funeral home of my memorial plan is going out of business. Instead of delegating my policy to a different firm, they gave me the package. I now have to take home a land title for where I will be buried, my own coffin, and my headstone. FML

agreeclassic 3 895

vote type 1 321