Miscellaneous: Today, I had to pick up and drive home a couple of drunk bitches....

By driverboy - 31/12/2014 08:08 - United States

Today, I had to pick up and drive home a couple of drunk bitches. Unfortunately, one of these drunk bitches was my mother. FML

agreeclassic 33 926

vote type 1 4 883

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By Anonymous - 07/06/2019 20:00

Today, I had to go pick up my mother at 3 in the morning. She had been out drinking and couldn't drive. She parties more than I do. FML

agreeclassic 1 466

vote type 1 233

By monquiqui - 04/07/2011 05:45 - United States

Today, I had to drive my drunk parents home from a party. They leaned out the window and barked at everyone we passed all the way home. FML

agreeclassic 35 117

vote type 1 3 927

Drunk level: 2000

By morningbirdie - 20/09/2020 14:01

Today, I had to pick up my dad because he was too drunk to drive home. Drive his wheelchair home, that is. FML

agreeclassic 1 215

vote type 1 103

By Anonymous - 09/05/2009 16:49 - United States

Today, I had to pick up my drunk mom at bar. While we were driving home, she thanked me over and over again, and then said, "Thank god you have no life!" FML

agreeclassic 56 759

vote type 1 4 511

By Anonymous - 21/05/2014 16:05 - United States - New York

Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML

agreeclassic 51 873

vote type 1 4 386

By the only sober one - 15/05/2013 06:21 - United States - San Diego

Today, as usual, my mom got shitfaced and started berating me for something. This time, it was for missing a therapy appointment. Not only am I unable to drive, it was her appointment. For her alcoholism. FML

agreeclassic 47 958

vote type 1 2 807

Denial

By Anonymous - 04/03/2014 04:12 - United States - Woodland

Today, my mom left the house in the morning, leaving me alone. I called and I got no answer. Hours later, she finally answers one of my calls and tells me that she'd been in an AA meeting all this time. Happy, I tell her to come home. She came home drunk. FML

agreeclassic 39 189

vote type 1 3 220

Get back here!

By Anonymous - 12/02/2010 07:51 - Canada

Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me!" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML

agreeclassic 36 181

vote type 1 2 771

By FunTimes - 19/08/2019 04:00 - Canada

Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML

agreeclassic 1 707

vote type 1 128

By HiRveryone - 05/03/2018 19:08 - United States - Centre

Today, I had to be the designated driver for my mom and aunt. While driving them home, my aunt threw up on the car floor and my mom peed her pants, leaving a puddle in the seat. It was my car. FML

agreeclassic 5 006

vote type 1 395

johnthejolly 10

Wednesday 31 December 2014 17:04

So by your logic you really are a son of a bitch

glimmer980 20

Wednesday 31 December 2014 17:06

That sucks but at least you took them home instead of letting them drive home themselves putting many more people in danger. You're a good guy OP

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420Nig169Nig420 12

Monday 18 April 2016 6:36

dont call your mom a bitch

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Today, I joined a local interest website, hoping to make some friends in my area. I don't think I've ever met so many guys before who introduce themselves with pictures of their cocks. FML

agreeclassic 25 700

vote type 1 6 005

Today, I caught my son "experimenting" with his female friend. When I called her mom and told her what was happening, she said, "I didn't raise a whore. You can keep her!" and hung up. They're both 9. I have no idea what to do. FML

agreeclassic 433

vote type 1 140

Today, my parents kicked me out of the house because they were having a party. They gave me twenty bucks to go see a movie. Well, the movie ended pretty quick, but the trauma of seeing my parents in a swingers' orgy will take some time getting over. FML

agreeclassic 75 020

vote type 1 6 354

Today, I made a cup of coffee for a lovely old lady on the dementia ward. She asked for quite a lot of sugar in her drink, but I didn't question it. The moment I gave her the coffee, she threw it all over me. While scalding my skin, it also stuck to me. FML

agreeclassic 3 403

vote type 1 273

Today, I went to take out my NuvaRing. To my surprise, I couldn’t find it. I’ve had unprotected sex almost every day this month. I don’t know when it fell out. FML

agreeclassic 2 022

vote type 1 1 194

I'll never leave this bed!

agreeclassic 270

vote type 1 71

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Drunk level: 2000

Denial

Get back here!

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