Health: Today, I had an unbearable itch on my foot that I could not make...

By Anonymous - 03/06/2012 05:50 - United States - Egg Harbor Township

Today, I had an unbearable itch on my foot that I could not make go away with my nails, so I grabbed the stapler in my drawer to scratch it with. Bad idea. FML

agreeclassic 6 762

vote type 1 49 105

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By Staples - 15/05/2010 06:21 - United Kingdom

Today, I accidentally stapled my finger to a piece of paper. It hurt, but I took it out and went to restaple it. I did it again. FML

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By 41k312 - 01/11/2016 05:03

Today, while joking with my coworkers about how I shouldn't be trusted with a stapler because I managed to accidentally staple my finger last week, I stapled another finger. FML

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By Steve - 24/02/2011 19:32 - United States

Today, I put aftershave on my fingers to encourage myself to stop biting my nails. I absentmindedly rubbed my eye a few minutes later. It burnt like hell. FML

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By Anonymous - 03/10/2015 10:57 - United Kingdom - Blackpool

Today, I was clipping my nails. When I got to my toenail, the whole thing somehow ripped right out. I'm in agony. FML

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By nyu - 25/01/2010 06:33 - United States

Today, I was getting a pedicure, and they used some sort of scrubby thing that really tickled my feet. When I couldn't take it any more, I accidentally kicked the lady who was doing my nails in the face. FML

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By all5fingers - 08/09/2011 05:23 - Canada

Today, I was playing my guitar and felt something like an itch under my foot, so I attempted to scratch it by rubbing against the floor. The big cockroach made a very distinct "crunch". FML

agreeclassic 28 640

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By thosedamnkids - 22/01/2012 05:09 - United States

Today, I was working at Staples and organizing some notebooks. All of a sudden, I jumped up because of a sharp pain in my back. A little girl had grabbed a stapler and stapled my back. FML

agreeclassic 43 368

vote type 1 2 647

By scaryhairy - 04/11/2009 01:44 - United States

Today, I accidentally cut myself with a razor blade on my toe. Not only does it sting really badly, but it reinforces the fact that I have abnormally hairy toes that need to be shaved. FML

agreeclassic 27 012

vote type 1 5 188

By anditburnsburnsburns - 27/08/2013 18:13 - United States - Midlothian

Today, I was in a rush, so I was removing my nail polish while using the toilet. Everything was going fine, until I used the toilet paper in my hand to wipe. It was covered in nail polish remover. It still burns. FML

agreeclassic 39 304

vote type 1 20 794

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By Bad day to be my toes - 08/12/2024 09:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I noticed one of my toenails was getting super long, so I cut it. In doing so, I accidentally ripped it off and it started bleeding. As I went to get something to stop it from bleeding, I got a huge splinter in my little toe, causing a painful infection. I think I should just go back to bed. FML

agreeclassic 353

vote type 1 189

flamegrilled123 3

Sunday 3 June 2012 11:52

How could that possibly go wrong?

Greendaycheese 12

Sunday 3 June 2012 11:53

What a genius idea!

Comments

rcgirl2 11

Monday 4 June 2012 22:26

Your foot itches and the first thing that comes to your mind is to grab something that shoots metal?!? -_-

wowthatissad 9

Tuesday 5 June 2012 3:27

Itchy foot? No need to worry, the seething pain of a staple in your foot will take away from a slight scratchy sensation

wildone123 6

Tuesday 5 June 2012 7:47

Wat a retard why don't u use my **** instead

shananiganizer 0

Tuesday 5 June 2012 10:44

Well at least it doesn't itch anymore

ac11_fml 0

Tuesday 5 June 2012 19:32

Has to be one of the dumbest ideas iv heard in a long time

bagelpie 6

Wednesday 6 June 2012 2:35

Wow... Harvard graduate?

HeartOfLead 24

Wednesday 6 June 2012 4:39

You stapled the tried stapling the itch to your foot? That's crazy!

laurenxx15 3

Wednesday 6 June 2012 21:14

Matt !

poopycat 5

Wednesday 6 June 2012 21:40

A stapler? Really? Your best option is Obviously a knife! People these days. Tsk Tsk tsk

Snackycake 20

Friday 8 June 2012 8:02

I always assumed putting a stapler to any part of your body was a good idea....

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Today, I really believed I could fly. Turns out, I can't. My leg hurts. FML

agreeclassic 320

vote type 1 244

Today, I started a new job. The supervisor handed me a badge with the name 'Rachel' on it, which is not my name. When I told her this, she responded with, "I know, but it will be easier for the customers to pronounce than your actual name." FML

agreeclassic 31 599

vote type 1 3 867

Today, I didn't feel like cooking when I got home from work, so I decided to go to the local restaurant nearby and do my part in supporting small businesses. Long story short, I woke up later feeling like absolute shit. Hello, food poisoning. FML

agreeclassic 413

vote type 1 94

Today, while I was working at McDonald's, a man and his wife ordered a Sundae. I gave the guy his sundae and realized I'd forgotten something. I said, "One second sir. Let me grab your nuts." I realized what I said when his wife gave me the death glare. FML

agreeclassic 36 335

vote type 1 8 399

Today, I saw one of the gay kids from my class getting picked on, so I tried to stand up for him. Not only did I get my ass kicked, but now my girlfriend thinks I might secretly be gay. Why? Because, in her own words, "Straight guys never defend gay guys!" She fails to see anything wrong with this mindset. FML

agreeclassic 1 404

vote type 1 211

Today, I was sitting in my bedroom relaxing when I heard my little sister and my brother. Thinking it was cute they were talking again, I was listening. They were not just "talking", they were making plans on how to kill me. FML

agreeclassic 34 842

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