Miscellaneous Today, I got junk punched by a midget in Sears for giving him...

b3ardown23 - 07/09/2011 01:14 - United States

Today, I got junk punched by a midget in Sears for giving him "a funny look." I was trying to read the price of the fridge he was standing in front of. FML

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St. Patrick's Day: Shamrocks and Tribulations
Green anecdotes of jealousy, full of shamrocks and pints, for a memorable St. Patrick's Day! …

insomnitude - 05/03/2011 06:55 - United States

Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML

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mybad - 11/09/2014 03:57 - United States

Today, at work, a midget came in to buy beer. Not only was he almost as tall as me, he got offended when I had to card him and explain that the manager told me to card everyone, and that it wasn't because he was short. FML

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jules - 17/04/2009 17:05 - United States

Today, I was in the supermarket when I saw a little boy trying to reach for something on the top shelf. I went over to him and asked if his mom knew where he was. The boy turned around. He was actually a very angry midget. FML

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ManInPain - 12/07/2011 16:46 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street to go to the movies, when I got punched in the back of the head. When I turned around, a stranger said, "HAHA! It's punch a random person day!" When I asked him why he chose me, he replied "You're ugly." FML

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cganon - 21/09/2010 12:44 - United Kingdom

Today, I was in a store when a child looked at me and said to his mother "look at that tall man!" His mother replied "he's an evil giant isn't he, darling?" I then mimed being an evil giant to make the kid laugh. His mother slapped me. FML

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Marc - 06/02/2012 21:43 - United States

Today, while I was standing in line at the store, some guy insulted the girl in front of me as he walked past. She turned around and socked me in the face. FML

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Parent #1 of the Year

no i'm sure you're a responsible parent - 09/04/2020 02:00 - United States

Today, I got bitched out by some lady in a Walmart because I looked at her funny while she was on the phone, loudly bragging about "slapping the shit out of" her kids. FML

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Nice Guy - 29/10/2012 07:55 - United States - San Diego

Today, I noticed a rather small man being harassed by a rather large man, so I tried to help out and break it up. The small guy punched me in the face and said, "Mind your business!" The large guy laughed and fist-bumped him. FML

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Anonymous - 24/07/2014 21:23 - United States - Annandale

Today, a customer threatened to smash my face in because I wouldn't give him a veteran's discount on a donut. He looked like he'd eaten his way out of fat camp, and it seemed the only action he'd seen was fighting his way into a lard factory. Still, he swung fast, and I now have a black eye. FML

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sociallyawkward - 19/05/2016 01:52 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I fistbumped a cashier as they tried to hand me my change. FML

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StoryOfTheYear 14

Wednesday 7 September 2011 8:41

Must've made a mini-fridge joke too, eh?

kickazz16 15

Wednesday 7 September 2011 8:43

Run* major typoooo

Mipz 2

Wednesday 7 September 2011 20:48

I hate people who are like that. They think everyone cares that they're different, but the only one who really cares is them.

eurostar710 11

Wednesday 7 September 2011 21:43

182 people are angry midgets.

icic6772 0

Wednesday 7 September 2011 23:00

That's adorable

daydreamer244 13

Thursday 8 September 2011 2:22

this is why I don't read!!

jayaysee 0

Thursday 8 September 2011 2:45

Lol... That's actually pretty funny... However... You deserved it considering you just called them a midget... That's rude..

i_wuz_nver_here 31

Thursday 8 September 2011 3:32

Wait you got beat up by a midget?

THE_A_TEEN 27

Thursday 8 September 2011 4:26

Hit in the ball's, dude.

i_wuz_nver_here 31

Thursday 8 September 2011 3:32

Wait you got beat up by a midget?

maddie2015 0

Thursday 8 September 2011 4:05

Fun sized nut punch!

lexi365 20

Thursday 8 September 2011 4:31

Did anyone else think of Tucker Max while reading this?

Palirose 22

Thursday 8 September 2011 4:57

Was Dr. Evil around?

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I went to a bar with a close friend. She got drunk and was feeling sick, so I carried her to my car to take her to her house. Some stranger accused me of drugging her and tackled me with her in my arms. She threw up on me, and he took off running without an apology. FML

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Today, my assmunch neighbor snitched on me and told my wife I was bringing my girlfriend home to sleep over while she worked her job during the graveyard shift. All because I’d forgotten to return his lawnmower. FML

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Today, I got an e-mail at work about payroll cuts. After our annual cost of living raise two weeks ago, I make $0.30 more per hour, but with my hours getting cut, I'll make $80 less per paycheck. That's two weeks of groceries. I can't afford my vacation next week now either. FML.

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Today, my parents yelled at me for coming home drunk from a party last night. They said I couldn't hang out with my best friend anymore as he's a "bad influence". He was the only one sober in our group and drove me home safely. FML

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Today, my stepdad punched me in the face after I told him I hated him. He and my mom came in 10 minutes later to try to convince me that I'd made it up in my head that he'd punched me. My face was still red. FML

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Today, I found out I need serious surgery on my right knee to remove a tumor growing underneath it. I will not be able to walk for 3 weeks, and the doctor told me to take off for 5 months from work just for full recovery. My father's response, "You'll do anything not to work." FML

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